overwhelmed

Snoopy6, I am just one week ahead of you, and overwhelmed is the word I use.  The pain is so deep, it is unbearable.  I cry myself to sleep, wake and cry again.  The only person who could console me is the person I am grieving for.  Take care, 

It is a horrible time the tears and tight chest lump in your throat it will get a little easier but takes time eat a little sleep  a little and just move on at your own pace this is a good place for support a huge help in the early days sorry for your situation

Thank you Knuzery, you are describing me in your response.  Everything is just so hard, and I can't believe it's only been 6 weeks.  At times its like yesterday, and times when it feels like i've been on my own forever. You are in my thoughts too, and hope it gets easier for us both.   Take care x  

Thanks Ian, you are all being so kind.  Never thought i would ever be posting in forums, but am heartened by responses.

What is wrong with me, my Husband died 3 weeks ago and i have not cried.

I have b een very very angry at him for dying and leaving so much to sort out, on the the hand to me its not real, he used to work away till he retired, i still think he is away working and will be coming home.

I might fill different on Monday when i collect his ashes, but to me he is coming home. He died on the 8th Oct out Anniversary was the 1st 53 years a life time.

Ellie xx

"You Never Walk A Lone"

It's still early days for me to but I have Found I don't cry every day now but the deep pain is still there just little moments of relief I to am hoping it get a little easier as time goes by 

Dear Ellie,

I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

Ellie, believe me, there is nothing wrong with you. Losing your husband was a very traumatic experience for you, one that the psyche needs time to adjust to, and for all of us that process of coming to terms and adjusting is different. Some of us cry and cry for weeks and can't seem to stop crying, others don't cry at all. Some of us feel guilty with our partners for having died, others feel so very guilty for whatever they feel they have done wrong in the process leading to their death. We are all different. But I think that particularly underlying anger is a deep, deep sadness and despair.

Perhaps you will be able to cry once you have his ashes home. Maybe some day a song you hear or a poem you read or a particular scent is going to trigger the tears. Just be patient with yourself and the grieving process.

I didn't cry much at all during the first few weeks and months. And I, too, asked myself what was wrong with me and why others were able to cry so much. But, over time, I realised that there was nothing "wrong" with me. And one day I started to cry more and I have cried on many occasions since then.

Love, Mel.

Hi Knuzery,

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss.

Be kind to yourself. Cry and cry for as long as you have to and as often has you have to. Do the things that feel right to you. And hopefully you have support from family and friends to help you through this, if you feel you would like the help of oither people in it. You can also write here and there will always be someone here to listen.

Love, Mel.

Hi Snoopy6,

I am so very sorry to read about your loss. And I hope that you have loving family and friends around you who can be there for you in this very difficult time. And, of course, this forum is there for you to post and to read whenever you feel you would like to connect with people in a similar situation.

Love and hugs

Mel.

I've said this before but it's worth saving again. Our love for our spouse is not measured by how many tears we shed. 

Personally I am still crying every day, it's exhausting.