Partner recently passed away

Hi San81,

firstly my deepest condolences to you.I lost my Partner just 4 weeks ago. The pain is unreal isn’t it. I to cannot go back to work yet. The thought just destroys me. We also done everything together and I am totally lost. I keep thinking someone is going to wake me up. The only way I can describe how I feel is like I’m in some sort of bubble with a nice stuck in my chest and nothing seems real anymore. 

You are right in saying all though you wouldn’t want anyone suffering like we are but it does give a bit of comfort because we all know in here what the other is going through. We didn’t have kids so I couldn’t give any advice there. but what I will say is your little boy is the best think for you to fight and try and get some of your strength back take your time to do things don’t rush when your ready and it’s not to painful sort out childcare. Just take little steps each day it’s all we can do

I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know your not alone sending you a big massive viral hug 

Jane XXX

Hello

My.  Name is Marie l lost my husband a .month ago . He was told he had diverticulitis he passed away to secondary cancer of the liver. He too was a stay at home dad for a short whilst. He got a job 5 years ago. It was still the first one home. We .miss him so much.my son's are .ugh older 25 and 29 it doesn't make it any easier. My so. Had his birthday yesterday we all sobbed out hearts out.

We are all on this horrible journey , I hate it. I know we will get through this ,we have no choice. Take your time with what you need to do I task a day would. E more than enough you have had a life changing trauma and you need to take.care of you too

We a t believe it be happened too.

Marie

Morning Marie

So sorry your on this Journey also.

My heart just bleeds for the amount of people who are on the journey there is so many of us in this horrendous pain. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Hope you and your sons have some sort of better day today Hugs Jane x

Thanks so much Jane, it is so hard and the pain is immense and all consuming, work are being great and I know I am so lucky to have their support.

The thing that seems so unreal is how quick it happened and when he went into hospital he just looked tired and by the end he had lost so much weight and the man I love who was always so strong seemed to be disappearing in front of me. I know I should concentrate on our memories but at the moment my head will not let me. Apparently time is a great healer but time seems to drag and drain me as the days go on. Everything is so sad, I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible for our little boy but when he asks if we are going to see daddy it breaks my heart.

i know I'll get stronger but the question is when, and I know it's different for everyone. He would hate me being so lost but I just can't shake it off at the moment which is probably to be expected.

tgank you for your kind response, and I am sorry that you too have had to deal with such heartbreak.

Thank you for your kind response Marie, it is the worst kind of pain, especially when it was so unexpected and quick. We will all get there, it's just  a hard painful slog. 

Take care of yourself and your family, that's all we can do at the moment x

Oh that’s just made me cry your poor little boy. Life is so unfair. Mine went in Hospital with pneumonia one min he’d be up talking next min he couldn’t even open his eyes then a day after up again talking and you think yes he’s getting better to again the next day or a few hours later he couldn’t even talk just grunt to let you know he could hear us talking to him. I’d gone home to get a shower and try and console myself I was only home a hour and a half just getting ready to go back to find his brother at our door he’d gone. His family have said he looked up said my name then looked around at them all and went. They said he was waiting for me to go so I didn’t have to deal with seeing that. I’m so angry with myself,him, everything at the minute for not being there first time I’d left the hospital in days. 

Hope you and your boy have a good day today x

Thank you Jane,

You too, we are all on the path,i wasn't aware just how many people have been, and are going through this pain. Death is something we all hide away from. My family are not good at supporting us because they just don't know how too. To be honest its nor did i, until now . It makes me want to support people in future when i am able to cope. 

Thanks for your support and i wish you a better day too.

Marie xx

I know how hard it must be, we were lucky enough to get him home for that one night, we were all with him which is what he would've wanted and seemed to hold out for. It was as peaceful as I imagine it can be, but like you say, life is so cruel. It can knock you right off your feet without even blinking.

we will all get through this horrible time, I just really appreciate people responding who have been through this or are going through it. If you haven't been there you can't imagine the experience and no matter how people talk to you they just don't understand, which I am glad for their sake. 

Take care of yourself, that's all we can do to keep them proud x

I am so sorry for your loss and you never need to be sorry or worry about saying anything on here we all completely understand, it’s just so terrible for anybody to have lots someone I lost my sole mate a year ago and still miss him so very much please just write anything you need to anytime we all understand what you are going through love and hugs my Angel x

Well today has been a bad day, I don't know why, it just seems to have been that way. I've cried a lot today, thought about what has happened a lot and have been petrified for what the future holds for my boy and I. 

In the past if I have ever worried about anything or started to overthink things I always turned to my rock, but he isn't there now and this has left me feeling lonely and really vulnerable. I just want him to give me one of his big hugs and tell me everything will be ok, we'll sort it, but he will never tell me that again.

really low today, I don't know if it's part of the grieving process these lows completely out of the blue but it has been just hard today.

sorry to ramble but this seems a safe place to do it and unfortunately so many people here will be able to help with their own awful experiences.

thank you for reading.