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Well, here we are, day 9 of chemo No.2 and so far no hospital this time. Apart from that the journey this time has been almost identical to the first one. No problems for the first few days ( apart from a fire alarm in the chemo dept. during treatment resulting in a mass evacuation ). Last Tuesday and part of Wednesday I had terrible depression but with Val's help got over that. Went to the mobility store in Bluewater on Wednesday to borrow a mobility scooter until my new one is in hopefully tomorrow...
Well my lovely MacFamily I apologise for my absence and lack of support for you all but I'm afraid the grief monster got a strangle hold on me and I have been hiding in my shell for weeks unable to face the world's horrific realities and sadness that permeates everything I do, touch, or experience. Never in a million years did I think that I would be so badly affected, thinking rather illogically that I was prepared. Was I ever so wrong! But now I need to write down the final hours of my beautiful...
I won't lie and say things have been going well, but i think we might have reached the crisis point where hopefully everything gets a bit better from now on.
Every morning that i wake up, i think to myself "i wonder how long it'll be until i'm reminded that my mum isn't around". Its quite funny some mornings because all i have to do is go downstairs, turn on This Morning with Phillip and Holly and theres an interview on about yet another casualty of the dreaded C word. I know i should be pleased...
THERE ARE SO MANY BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN LIFE
FOR NO APPARENT REASON AND IT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE
BUT THERE IN THE WRECKAGE IS SOMETHING THATS GOOD
WHEN YOU DIG YOUR WAY DOWN IT HITS LIKE A FLOOD
THE MOST WONDERFULL PERSON APPEARS IN YOU HEART
ITS ALMOST AS THOUGH THEY'VE BEEN HERE FROM THE START
YOU ARE MILES AWAY BUT YET YOU STILL FEEL SO NEAR
CAUSE WE ARE SO CLOSE AND OUR FRIENDSHIP SO DEAR
I OFTEN SIT WONDERING HOW IT WAS THAT WE BECAME
SUCH FANTASTIC FRIENDS THE TYPE THAT WILL REMAIN
...Evening all.
Its been a while since ive been on, and thought i best give an update to what has been happening.
Ill be honest and say since going back to work ive not had a lot of time to do anything. I work long hours over 4 days so that i can have 3 days off, so by the time i sit down im ready for my bed, which doesn't leave a lot of time to do anything.
Its probably the best medicine i could of hoped for as it keeps me very busy, and keeps my googling at bay.
From my last update, ive...
"Your dad is in hospital with a massive infection, please call when you get this message" Not the most pleasant text I have ever received but in no way did I think that this would be the start of a week where once again my families life is turned upside down.
Less than an hour later, having abruptly left work I am sat in my dads chair, awaiting the return of my mum from the hospital, with the knowledge that my dad has Leukemia.
So many thoughts running through my head "How advanced...
So, in the name of lightening up conversations and not having to mention the depressing words that are cancer and tumours the rest of my life, i decided i should name the little lodger i had. Pretty much decided this from the first week of finding out. Im quirky that way, but it works for me! However, that plan became tricky when i discovered i had my primary one, two secondaries worth measuring and lots of clusters everywhere. Sounds like more of a collection than one simple naming task.
*sigh*...
