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It's hard to imagine that all of which follows took place within the space of two short weeks.
Friday afternoon, 18 August, I rocked up at my local hospital to see the ENT surgeon. He asked me about my symptoms, had a feel of my lump and stuck a camera up my nose to look at my throat. He had a junior doctor observing him, so it was quite reassuring when I heard him say "The X looks ok, the Y looks OK".
He told me there were a few possibilities, but that he'd know more following a CT...
So my GP tells me I will need to be referred to an ENT specialist, with "more or less urgency". Next day her secretary calls to say the hospital need to see me within two weeks, so I have to call her back if I haven't heard within a few days. I immediately Google "urgent referrals" and learn all about the two-week pathway for "suspected cancer". Blind panic ensues, until I see that only 10% of people referred under this regime will have cancer. So I calm myself down for a while, and wait patiently...
"I don't feel great today, my glands are up"....
I've been trying to find out when my op is as I've had the pre-op. No-one was able to tell me. I found out why today. I got a call about 11.30 from the urology unit at the hospital. It appears I have a urinary infection. The nurse said she would be faxing my doctor to ask him to prescribe some antibiotics. I left it an hour or so then I rang my doctors' to see if the prescription was done. It wasn't. I asked if my account doctor could ring me about it. Okay. Then I rang the hospital and told them...
This operation turned out to be very similar to the excision biopsy only as the original biopsy area had filled in, it involved taking that tissue again and making a larger clear margin. As I had had such a detailed discussion about risks beforehand in my consultation all I had to do was sign a pretty much blank consent form and so no risks had to be mentioned again. I did ask some questions. In the very unlikely event of a bleed into eye, I can go to my local acute hospital - just to get myself...
My head feels like it is going to explode, I can't cope anymore, I need my mum, I miss her so badly, why won't this pain go away? People said to me this would get easier but its not any better at all,.I had a baby at 24 weeks in January this year and all I wanted was my mum to be there with me, I feel so numb im trying so hard but it's just making me angry and I'm taking it out on my partner and can't tell him why
it's the day before my first op. (of two, excluding the excision biopsy of the lesion). As I understand it I'll be grounded for a month after op. with no exertion greater than cleaning my house, no bending down - eyelids are well supplied with blood and it's important not to retrigger bleeding and no getting my eye wet i.e. no going out in rain and protecting my eyelid from sun. Perhaps I'll be able to take exercise once I've had stitches put in in a week's time? Must remember to ask. ...
So. I've seen a lot of people sharing posts on facebook recently due to a number of suicides, asking for people suffering from depression to know that they aren't alone, and that the person sharing said post is there for them if ever needed. All they need to do is to reach out and ask to chat or to ask for help and they would be there for them. That's all well and good, and I'm sure the person who shared said post feels really good about themselves for doing it. But that's never going to happen,...
