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Well as christmas looms ever closer I feel like my heart is breaking without Bill. We really thought he was going to beat this disease, but it was not to be.My life is now a lonley and dark place with no light at the end of the tunnel.I will never hear his voice again it was big deep sexy ,that was the first thing I fell in love with ,then his sense of houmor funny and twisted in the way only a man you love get's away with like the time he called me to say get dolled up we are going out for dinner...
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."
Abraham Lincoln 1809-1865
hi there - hope all is well for everyone - well the weekend is over and what a good one it has been - i managed to get all the washing and ironing done on saturday and went to my sisters house for tea - well i invited myself - you dont get if you dont ask - lol - we got there and while i was having a coffee at the kitchen table i could feel myself falling off to sleep - so i was ordered off to bed while tea was being made - the little one was fine playing with her cousins so off i went - the next...
Well, it's been a bit of a mixed bag, as these journeys often are.
Round four was a few weeks ago, and round five was due on Friday. However round four had been a very rough ride, and my darling has been very sick and not eating much. The consultant could tell that he had had a rough ride and was concerned about his weight loss and so has given us a fortnight off chemo to recover and gather strength.
We have the dreaded review scan on 15th December, and final chemo of the year is scheduled...
It's less than two weeks to Christmas now, and all the family are pushing the boat out and rowing home to be here together. I don't know if that's because I went through all of this trouble this year... but it probably is. Anyway, the table will be full, and they will eat their fill, and I will watch with delight as I drink my Ensures. Yes of course I would rather have a Christmas dinner and lots of chocs and other Christmas goodies, but I can't and that's just how it is, no point in...
Friday 11th December
Rang the day unit and, sure enough, had to go in. The third day in a row. I know we're lucky to be able to just go in and get treated but I really didn't want another 4/5 hour day at hospital. My mood has been 'simmering' for a couple of days and totally slumped on the way over because I'd had to miss a couple of rare nights out recently because of colds - either mine or other people's. I'm really tired of doing everything I can to minimise risk only to...
hi all how do i get my private messages,anyone who has sent one please dont think im ignoreing you just havent worked it out yet ,thankyou all for your kindness n support love 2 u all xx
Dear Readers - I am putting on a link which is for a registered charity that is raising money for photodynamic therapy as a treatment for cancer. As well as giving information about trials, it also gives some information about hospitals and consultants who are already involved in the treatment. It is a genuine link, despite the very bad name! Forgive me for doing this Macmillan - I have no axe to grind (except a very personal one!) but this link should be of interest to many of you carers and cancer...
So, I'm standing in the supermarket, and, as you do, I start chatting to the woman behind me at the check out. I've not had a good day, and her bright smile and chatter is welcome and pleasant and gives a sense of "normality" Neither of us has done any shopping for Christmas, not one mince pie, not one present so far, no tree up, and I start to warm to her, maybe I'm not so odd...... I'm not the only one who hasn't done anything yet. Me, because I've been so busy grieving since...
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