So, I'm standing in the supermarket, and, as you do, I start chatting to the woman behind me at the check out. I've not had a good day, and her bright smile and chatter is welcome and pleasant and gives a sense of "normality" Neither of us has done any shopping for Christmas, not one mince pie, not one present so far, no tree up, and I start to warm to her, maybe I'm not so odd...... I'm not the only one who hasn't done anything yet. Me, because I've been so busy grieving since dad died, and she because she's just...... well,.......... busy! Then she tells me that she's supposed to be going out that or the following night, I can't remember which, but she thinks she'll look a fright, going in her jeans and she hasn't had her hair done because she's been going through to a unit in a nearby city every day with her dad for his radiotherapy, and just hasn't had the time. Before I could stop myself, I'd said, "Oh, my dad went there too!" and immediately regretted it. She was saying how he has to go back again after Christmas for another scan to see if the tumour has shrunk, and maybe he'll need to have some more radiotherapy. Her eyes alight with hope and love for her dad................ I was terrified that she'd ask how my dad was doing, and that then I'd have to tell her that he'd died, or I'd have to lie and say he's OK. She looked around the same age as me, and as full of optimism as I had been when dad had his radiotherapy. I didn't want to ruin this lady's Christmas with tales of doom and gloom! I just wanted to run away, but I didn't, I just carried on the conversation, being careful what I said, and finished by reassuring her that I was sure she'd look fine on her night out and gracefully exited the supermarket. Outside I felt guilty, and as I walked away I started thinking maybe I should have offered her some kind of support, but goodness know what!! (and Good God....... a total stranger, she would have thought I was well weird!!) Twice I nearly turned back, thinking, should I ask her if she knows about this site, should I tell her to seek me out on here, or others in a similar situation, for support. I kept walking, thoughts tumbling through my head until I reached my front door. My daughter in law thinks I did the right thing, not getting involved, and not dampening her Christmas Spirit, and maybe her dad will be ok and not be as bad as mine was. But still, she's been in my thoughts for the last couple of hours, worrying about her, hoping her dad will be ok. Funny.............. how a total stranger can touch you like that without them even knowing, she probably went home and forgot all about me!! But wherever she is, I'm sending wishes and thoughts of healing and strength to her and her family.
Good luck lovely lady! x
