I am really dreading the new year, I just really wish we could stay in 2009 it feels like I am losing more of Bill I know this sounds weird but I just can't get rid of this feeling ! The days are just merging with one another and I find no comfort in knowing the years to come are to be spent without him , how can anybody say time is a great healer when time is the thing that Bill did not get.We were not ready for him…
I have to write about our wonderful daughter her name is Gillian but to all who know her it's Gin,well I was dreading today and really only wanted to stay on the sofa and just sleep the day away,Oh she was not having any of that,she got up early and gave me a present that is so special that only she could have thought of it, it was one of those digital photo frames and she had filled the card with pictures of her dad…
Well as christmas looms ever closer I feel like my heart is breaking without Bill. We really thought he was going to beat this disease, but it was not to be.My life is now a lonley and dark place with no light at the end of the tunnel.I will never hear his voice again it was big deep sexy ,that was the first thing I fell in love with ,then his sense of houmor funny and twisted in the way only a man you love get's away…
Today Bill has his last shot of chemo ,he has had the Ivor Lewis op on the 29thApril 2009 plus three chemo sessions before and is now on his last session post op,what happens now? We have planed a holiday which we both are looking forward to so why am I feeling so scared ! I feel as if I am just waiting for the return trip to the roller coaster that we have been on for the last year.I am trying to smile and think…
Today, well yesterday my husband Bill had his operation,he had cancer of the gullet, the operation seems to have gone to plan,he is in a bit of pain so morphine is his drug of choice at the moment. Havent slept at allso going to bed now I will post later to let everybody know how he is getting on. Pansy
