It's less than two weeks to Christmas now, and all the family are pushing the boat out and rowing home to be here together. I don't know if that's because I went through all of this trouble this year... but it probably is. Anyway, the table will be full, and they will eat their fill, and I will watch with delight as I drink my Ensures. Yes of course I would rather have a Christmas dinner and lots of chocs and other Christmas goodies, but I can't and that's just how it is, no point in crying over it. I have always said that the best part of Christmas is having the family together, and that's what I'm getting this year. My wonderful grown up children, all at home with their children, bliss!
I'm managing to eat a few things, like porridge, and ravioli (not together), but I still need to take the Ensures to keep my weight up. I have now lost 2 stone, and while I'm quite happy with the slimline me, I can't afford to keep buying new clothes.
Somtimes I wonder if I would have chosen the full 6 week treatment if I had known how it would effect my ability to eat. But I really cannot answer that question. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but then sometimes I could kill for a chip butty.
I still take painkillers at night, so that I don't wake up in agony with the pain in my shoulder, although it's not as bad as it once was. Now and then I think I am regaining some saliva... but I'm really not sure, certainly not enough to help me to eat anyway.
The fear is not so bad now either... 6 months have passed and still no lumps.
Life is not too bad on the whole.
