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The first thing I thought looking back at Cycle 1, is that I was actually a lot rougher, following the Chemo, than I felt at the time… put another way, I think that by the end of the Cycle, I was feeling an awful lot better than what I felt had become the norm, when coming into treatment… To say this another way; when I was in agonies of acid indigestion and back ache and a pain running up the right hand side of my chest, then into my neck, head and teeth – I was sort of OK with that; it was containable...
So back in early 2015 my partner was diagnosed TC (early stage in the left side). He was diagnosed early Feb and operated on end of Feb 2015. Since his TC things have not been the same between us. Here's the chain of events that occurred:
Saturday 4th February 2017
Just a quick update, today has been much better than yesterday, we had a nice meal at our neighbours last night, although back home and ready for bed by 10pm. Not like the 'before' days when we'd come home in the early hours, but we will get those days back I hope. My neighbour had breast cancer six years ago and she lives life to the full.
So this morning I got up after a rubbish nights sleep, hot flushes and painful joints, I did feel much better though...
Feb 2017
My story so far...
I am one in eight. You won't see me on an ad campaign or in a magazine, yet there are thousands like me.
I had stage 1 breast cancer in early 2014, not many people know about it. Even some of my family and friends don't know - my fight, my choice. Those who do know kept it to themselves for me.
My cancer was picked up by my first routine mammogram, I was 51 at the time.
I had no lump or other symptoms so feel very lucky that I was in the right...
Each day, I put on a brave face. There are those who take no notice of it, who take me as I am and with whom I feel comfortable, but there are others who find it hard to cope with the cancer and with whom I cannot share the confusion and pain underneath. For those friends, I must wear my brave face, and this is a poem I wrote for them:
I buy my brave faces online.
The standard design, inexpensive, disposable, sold in packs of twenty.
A fresh face every day.
“Hide your true face behind the privacy...
Friday 3rd February.
Well I'm sitting here on a wet miserable Friday feeling a bit fed up with myself, which is better than earlier when I was really really fed up!
I had the first session of the T chemo on Tuesday and it went ok up until last night, in fact I was feeling very good, but last night I kept waking up feeling achy and heavy and had a sore throat. My temperature is fine, it's just the chemo side effects, but today I've been feeling really down with it, sort of like I'm not in...
Well, I turned up half an hour early as requested, for my fist radiotherapy session, armed with a Moody Blues CD, two bottles of water and a Lorazepam tablet. I was first led into a room where my details were checked, and I took the opportunity of mentioning my Claustrophobia, then shot the pill down. 20 mins later I was led into the treatment room, where the techs already new of my anxious condition, and put me well at ease. (the tablet was taking effect too). i was told the procedure would take...
I'm finding things difficult, still. I have good and bad days and on top of those really bad days, sometimes. I have found an outlet in the gym and lifting weights again. I missed my session today and I'm sure that contributed to having a bad day.
I'm still at Mum's bungalow surrounded by memories and at night things overwhelm me so much more. It's always when it's quiet, isn't it? I start a new job on Monday, so hopefully things will be looking up for me :)
Nothing...
