If your partner is struggling with the pump, perhaps the best thing to do is go back.to the prescribing doctor.
In my case this was a urologist working in the local trust's Erectile Dysfunction clinic. I hope your partner had some proper instruction in how to use the device and was "measured" up for the right size of ring.
I was lucky to receive instruction from the company representative who supplied my pump. He was excellent! The actual doctor was embarassingly ignorant!
To be honest, although there are different sizes of pumps and seal rings, I'm not sure if the rings used to maintain an erection when the pump.is removed come in different sizes.
However, new rings should be available on prescription from.your GP. I got.my device from the local pharmacy. You could try asking the pharmacist about different size rings.
You could try contacting the device manufacturer directly, ( hopefully not made in China!)
I confess, sorry about the embarassing detail, I never used the device.for penetrative sex. I was put off because not only does the device draw blood into the erectile tissue, like a normal erection, it draws it into the skin too, so it expands in width, not just length. It's also "floppy' at the base.below the ring. So I imagine it's clumsy and psychologically off putting and doesn't do much for libido.
I did use my pump however, for "rehabilitation" purposes, i.e to reduce scarring of erectile tissue and occlusion of the blood vessels which are a consequence of not having any erection at all.
As instructed I inflated and deflated 5 - 6 times a session, at least twice a day.
This will help with your partner and is worth persisting with.
I found it also helped psychologically because the whole situation was frustrating, anxiety provoking and confidence destroying, all of which just prolong the problem. In my case, I went through a very difficult phase which destroyed the relationship I was in at the time, which was before I saw a psychosexual counsellor.
I strongly suggest you consult a psychosexual counsellor. who can be really helpful.
Unfortunately, realistically the chances of ever achieving spontaneous erections even with aid of medication with non nerve sparing surgery.are very slim. It is said that this worth continuing to aim for up to 2 years following surgery.
Otherwise, and meanwhile it's about finding ways of dealing with the limitations of using the pump. Don't give on that either.
Failing that, there are a couple of other options to be explored.
Failing all, it might be a better.quality of experience to explore the possibilities of non (male) penetrative intimacy.
Many Thanks. Yes we are booked to see the counsellor on Christmas Eve. Sadly we can't get the different ring size at the moment noone stocks it. The pellet and also the cream are in and out of stock so its definitely a trying time. Hubby had the op in March but no luck yet. We spoke to his team who say to keep trying, dome say he has tried enough and some don't say much at all. There's also no support in my area either which is frustrating but hopefully we can sort something soon
I'm sure you can buy rings of different sizes or even adjustable ones from internet suppliers, just google it. The downside of course is that they're not free on prescription but they don't cost a fortune either.
I found the team (urology) pretty useless as regards anything but essential clinical follow up after my surgery. They never offered any help with ED and I didn't find out until years later that there was even an Erectile Dysfunction clinic in the trust.
I also discovered that although they offer "counselling", this is delivered by the team, none of whom have any training in counselling never mind psychosexual counselling. This might be different where you are.
My erectile rehabilitation was almost entirely self-initiated.
There should be some (charitable) services near where you live, e.g. where I live there are two local cancer charities who deliver a whole range of services and I got (free) psychosexual counselling from one of these.
To find out what's available locally I suggest you call the Macmillan Helpline on 08080 808 00 00
There may also be local counselling services, that might include psychosexual counselling. There may be some that offer reduced rates for older people.
Relate, may also be of some help.
A lot of the advice, or lack of it, I believe, is based on the assumption that men between the ages of 40 and 60 only have sex once a week and after 60 lose interest.
