Newly diagnosed and trying to cope

Hi yanyan, I’ve been following your posts and was sad to learn you had the news you did not want. I too am newly diagnosed...3 weeks ago! Unlike you I am having to wait 4 weeks before my CT scan and 5 for an MRI scan and like you I think I’m having a nervous breakdown, you because of how fast your scans are being done and me because it’s taking so long. I think it’s just your luck on how your NHS area works? The waiting is worse than the actual diagnosis I think.

I can’t say much more as I am in exactly the same position as you at the moment, looks as though we will be getting our scans around the same time. This forum seems an excellent place to get support and virtual hugs. So glad I found it.

Hi Yanyan

I think it does depend on your area you live, but I found I was down the hospital having scans, mri, biopsies nearly every week for a few weeks. I kept asking loads of questions and they kept telling me and reassuring me that the tests etc needed to be completed fully and this could take a few weeks for all results etc to come back so that the treatment plan will be the right and best one for you. When I reflect on it now, I was struggling from week to week and just wanted a treatment plan because as you have said your mind is constantly overthinking and I was the same and each day/week I would be panicking incase the cancer was spreading around my body. Looking back I can see now that all that they done was needed, they were very thorough and it was like a jigsaw, they needed all the piece before a treatment plan was discussed and decided on. I know at this stage you cannot think that way. I have anxiety, suffered for many years with it and believe me it went through the roof during the months of waiting and for a while after my mastectomy. Thankfully I am calmer at the moment. Although I do not think the anxiety will ever go completely. My husband struggled but was trying to help and kept telling me how strong I am and tried to get me to think positive, but it was tough on everyone. Don't knock yourself for overthinking, it think we all have been there and no matter what people say we can not help ourselves from overthinking. But if you can think of this jigsaw and the need for all the information you will get the treatment you need. There is so much treatment today with excellent results, so hang on in there you will get there. Wish I lived closer so that I could sit down with you and offer you lots of support, reassurance and hugs.

Rita

x

Hi

I think it depends on the area you are in my story is on my profile feel free t read .

8days after diagnosis had op now on day8  second  cycle of chemo so it can be very fast for various reasons .

My treatment plan as such was not done until after masectomy and further biopsies had been taken during and after surgery .

Others have chemo etc first .

you can come me on here or see your BCN with questions .  Wrote questions down so I wouldn't forget when I was on phone to BCN or seeing her .

Try to keep calm hopefully things will settle for you as you set along your path 

margaret x

I like the BUPA ads

https://youtu.be/KcG0tyRetcc

If only all cancer ads were like this, we'd all feel like anything is possible 

My GP told me that although it all seemed like doom  and gloom i was the equivalent of a large ship with a very small hole and all my pumps were still working.

I might take issue with the 'large' but otherwise it's a good analogy. 

A hole in the hull is a big deal and it needs dealing with, you can't ignore it but it doesn't mean you'll sink.

Last one for now

I was walking back through Kings X on the way to catch the train home, it was a hot day and I still had a dressing on my arm and probably a nuclear alert wrist band too. 

There was a lady with a guide dog just about to tumble from the top of the steps to the bottom as you go from St Pancras down to the tube, not sure why the dog wasn't alerting her but I stopped her and asked if she needed any help

She instantly marshalled me into leading her by letting her hold my elbow and I walked her back to the tube where she said the staff would help her. 

Without thinking I did a 'mum' on her and pretty much told her off for trying to walk around London on her own, then I felt bad so we just chatted about how she'd lost her sight, I just couldn't help myself saying how can you manage

She said it's sink or swim isn't it

I wandered off with tears running down my face.

Carolyn

xxx

Hi Yanyan,

my experience is that some of the tests take longer to do than others, the HER 2 test took a few weeks (it may be that it’s a complex test to run) but my surgeon had a plan! 

If you’re finding sleep is tough and you say you’ve been prescribed Diazepam, then if your mind is zooming around late in the evening, try taking one as you go to bed, and then allow yourself to drift; it works! 

Hugs xxx

Hi ,

I had biopsy end of July 2015, diagnosis 6th Aug, operation 18th Aug 2015. So yes it's quick, but better that way. Please take the tablet's the scientists pharmacists doctors who developed this medication were doing it to help people just like yourself. Someone who needs short term help to get through a tough time. 

Also an observation from someone who has been on this forum a while, they don't know a thing until they get those cells under a microscope, and that's what they are doing now. Looking at the cells to find out how to treat whatever is there. When you get a diagnosis and treatment plan everything will seem much more under control.

Sending lots of love to you xxx 

Hi I've kept quiet here as you have so many supportive messages already but I'm sending you A HUG   Please read my profile i had a very aggressive cancer and everything thrown at it and I'm doing ok it will be three years hopefully cancer free next month.

Emotionally I've really struggled and have been quite desperate at times as I'm sure Carolyn28 would confirm from past messages xx. Anyway I've stumbled through somehow and so will you take it a step at a time xxxx

Yes You are in shock, it’s normal to feel lost, out of control, angry with everyone etc.  Once you get your treatment plan you feel you regain control .  I remember having a major panic attack two days after having biopsy result.  It was middle of night and I had tried to soothe my panic by googling!!!  I then found out I was likely to need wire guided surgery so that increased my panic (it sounded much worse than it was)  I had a really good cry while my hubby slept! - How dare he!!  

I think I needed to melt down as if I suppress anxiety it grows,

You will smile again, you will find things funny you just need to allow yourself to be sad.

Thank you all yet again for your support. I’ve had a difficult day although I managed to do the journey to go to my local Maggies. What a lovely place and some lovely people. As soon as I walked in there was someone there making me a coffee and offering cake. I spoke to a volunteer and to one of the consultants there who explained how they can help. Picked up a leaflet on how to break the news to the girls. Also in between treatments I can go there too as it’s in the hospital grounds. Got home exhausted and tried to eat a sandwich. Food is eluding me currently and I can feel I’m loosing weight already. Just don’t fancy it. The hubby and myself have told more people today ... and that’s been difficult. Warnings of how difficult it will be and a general feeling of doom in response hasn’t helped. I already feel like utter crap ... I need messages of hope! Then tonight it was panic attack time but I’ve just managed to settle with my iPad and Salvage hunters!! I’m still sore from the biopsies ( it still makes me feel queasy thinking about it) but thinking later I’ll take a diazepam to help me through the night, failing that I’ll be on the Awake thread. Thanks to everyone’s who’s replied. It does help to feel I’m not alone xx

Dear ,

your in safe hands here  , everyone of us has experienced the shock , disbelief and the waiting - OOO the waiting is the worst . 

I told most people by messenger message , which I copied and pasted into email and normal text . This way you only need to type once , I told them date of next appointment when I knew it , told them each results all this way . I explained that I couldn’t stand the thought of my poor husband hearing me repeat everything over and over again . This worked well for me , good friends would text me the night before the next appointment etc . But also those you least expect to , would too. Sometimes you will find who you thought to be your closest friends , sort of shrunk away . I’ve heard this from many ladies I know . But you will come across some real angels and they will be your friends for ever come rain or shine . 

I am a year from completion of treatment and when I look back , it can’t believe that it all happened - but it sure did ! 

I still wake at night and my solace is jigsaws !! Magics the time away and makes me sleepy - ok might be sleepy when it’s time to get up ! But I just go back to bed and have a good morning sleep. I also record tv that I wouldn’t watch normally  but it’s good and you can fast forward better than on iPlayer . 

Main thing is - BE GOOD and KIND TO YOURSELF ! 

Take time to write up your profile - it’s good to look back on and remind yourself how brave you have been . If you click on anyone’s name you will see their profile , if they have completed it . 

This site and the men and ladies on it are brilliant , I took a break and just read posts for a while but I’ve needed the support lately and they have all been there for me . 

Take care and hugs 

love 

Ruby Rose