Illness - one up manship

Harvestmoon you are not alone. The world ended for my OH last week. His trauma? A crown came off his tooth. The weeping and wailing had to be seen to be believed. Then I sat  through the minute by minute report on his twenty minute wait at the dentist. I have to understand that he doesn't do waiting. I know that , he once stood me up on a date because I was five minutes late. I was travelling by bus so I didn't have complete control of my arrival time. In his book I should have caught the earlier bus. All the way through my chemo he insisted we set off at least twenty minutes earlier than we needed to, just in case. As a result I often had to stand in line waiting for the doors of the unit to be unlocked.

I actually asked him, after he had calmed down and written his e mail of complaint what he would have been like in my shoes. Waiting to go into treatment because they are short staffed or because the prescription hasn't arrived from the pharmacy downstairs. Worse still the treatment hasn't arrived from the other hospital which is at least 45 minutes away! He admitted he didn't think he would have coped, that he would have needed permanent sedation.

Now don't get me wrong he has been amazing this time, practise makes perfect afterall! I couldn't have wished for more care and attention.he's taken over a number of things I haven't been able to do without a complaint. Best still he's made me laugh when I've felt like crying . I have my surgery in 19 days time. God help me if that coincides with a bout of his sinusitus. 

This is part of the new normal. Things we thought were SO important become minor details compared to what we have been through. The little things are valued and appreciated more.

Sending hugs. 

Thank you  

They can be so dramatic but we love them the way they are.

He has dentist next week, I have a smear test, I already know what we will talk about more!

Wishing you well for your surgery and ongoing treatment x

I was preparing to sit down and tell our young kids about my diagnosis and pending double mastectomy and my husband says "maybe I can equate it to my hernia operation".  I wouldn't mind but I had a full hip replacement  4yrs ago and he thought his minor surgery was the way to go....

Almost as if an in growing toenail is worse than a mastectomy?! 

hugs xxx

Thank you for sharing,  I now have a big grin on my face  

I must admit I laughed out loud at the hernia. Oh wanted to know what I was laughing at.

Just on the way back from check up from surgeon - I asked him to check my scars as they were a little red....husband on the way back "I think you did right, because when I had my hernia.......".   Gift that keeps giving.  

I can totally relate to the one upmanship situation.  My father in law is exactly like that. He has had prostate cancer in his 70's/80"s and had radiotherapy.  He had more sessions than me and he reminds me of this everytime someone asks me about it as though it's something to be proud of.  Constantly tells me how many tablets he has and sometimes refers to his chemo, until my mother in law reminds him that he hasn't had chemo. 

I have to try really hard not to blurt out "but did you have chemo Malcolm???? No. Did you have cancer when you were in your 40s and working full.time and had young children to bring up??? No."

But obviously I don't as that would be childish. Haha

We take turns cooking our main meal. I asked OH to get some gammon while he was shopping today. The salty flavours broke through the chemo taste and it's become a bit of a favourite. No We can't have that we are still nursing his crown remember! 

After managing a full Aqua fit class, I had the energy to make an emergency cook in sauce chicken curry. Cheating I added a pepper and an onion and some extra chilli flakes. The peppers were still a bit crunchy. Naturally he picked out every last piece. When I tasted them before serving up I did consider putting his share in the blender.

The gammon is in the fridge so anyone in our area that fancies gammon with veg ,mash and a nice cheese sauce give me a call.

An incident today reminded me of this post. I've had my bilateral mastectomy. One drain never really worked. I've had two days of increased pain and increased swelling. I've been here before so I know it's fluid that probably needs draining.

Sat in the waiting room today I was exhausted and in agony. I asked OH to get me some paracetomol. I was called in before he came back. 

When I came out from seeing the doctor I asked him where he'd been.

 " I decided to stay downstairs in the cafe and have a cup of tea. Holding my paper up while I read it was making my arms ache so I thought I'd be more comfortable sitting at a table. "

I got my paracetamol in the car, what a shame I didn't have a cup of tea to take them with.

And breath!