Those with loved ones just diagnosed or waiting for an appointment, Check This Out

Hi LoobyLou49

Hubby isn't in the early stages but I guess he's fairly newly diagnosed as we found out it was cancer and bad at August bank holiday.  I think going into meltdown is par for the course, at least it was for me.

It was a double whammy for us, as we were going for tests to rule out cancer.  Hubby doesn't drink or smoke so no-one (including our GP) suspected the worst, and we all got a terrible shock.  It's bowel cancer that he has, and still we thought it would be in the early stages since he'd done the postal test a few months previously and everything came back normal.

Stage 4.  Incurable but controllable were the words our local hospital used.  Apart from losing weight, he didn't feel bad at that time, but it didn't take long for him to go downhill.  I actually mourned the man I married 38 years ago, my life shattered and I was just going to work (which kept me sane) and coming home to wait hand and foot on the bag of bones who didn't want to eat. 

There is good news now, though.  His turning point was starting chemo.  It hasn't been bad on him, which is fantastic and very lucky, and I think he felt much better knowing that his body was getting the help it badly needed.  Then came the blood transfusion which also helped immeasurably.  Right now he's feeling really good and with the help of steroids, he's eating brilliantly, the weight going back on.  I have a lot of my husband back.

The future remains scary.  We're on a really good high right now, and praying that the scan that we're due in the new year reflects how different and good he feels.  The oncologist told us that if the chemo works, then he has patients who have had 50 odd rounds so I don't know if that tells us he has two to three years (which I refuse to think about) or at least that amount of time, and hopefully many more rounds as well.  Only time will tell.

Coming here has definitely helped me a lot, but I've been quiet of late because we are on the up, and I feel so sorry for the ones who are in bad patches and/or nearing the end.  I don't feel qualified at all to comment, I have no experience of their trauma it's just so sad to see the names that have helped me along the way going through their heartbreak.  I'll just send much love to them and give virtual hugs here.

I don't know if this is what you wanted, LoobyLou49, but it's my experience!

Emsar x

Hi ,

Thank you for your response. What I am hoping to do is to encourage people who would like to post but might feel others are going through so much more, that they feel their experience is somehow less than it is for others, which is not so. Also, it's not just good, but beneficial to the group to read the good times, the ups as well as the downs. We all feel better, I think, for hearing good news. I understand why members hold back with good news, but I'd encourage anyone to share their good days and amusing experiences. We like to share chuckles too; it helps us all to keep our heads above water. Great to hear the good news about your husband.

Believe me, you are 'qualified to comment'. You have a loved one with cancer and sending love and hugs to others makes you a valuable part of the group. I'm not saying people have to post comments, not at all; many of our members find enough support through reading others' posts and that's fine. It's ok to hover in the background and read, but if members would like to post, go for it!

Love and hugs,

My beautiful wife who I met when she was 17 and is now 45 was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer with three tumours in her head is now waiting for her full scan results and prognosis. Five days ago she started with a serious headache that was constant with vomiting until no food was in her tummy. I got the GP to admit her to A&E on Wednesday and MRI + CT scans revealing 3 legions on her brain, two and the back and one at the front. 

I have been emotional wrecked ever since but she has been strong and said bring it on let's fight it.

I am now worried about the consultants meeting on Monday and I am expecting the worst news possible.

Which is that no treatment is possible 

It is slowly destroying me and my wife .

Hi I am in similar position sending a cuddle down the phone to you right now

Hi ,

Of course you're worried; it's a sickening time, this waiting. Many of our members say 'Plan for the worst but hope for the best'. If your wife is like my husband, she needs to believe in the highest possible hope. One thing I've discovered in the last two years is that it just isn't always possible to plan for something that is so volatile as cancer and I know you've already been on a long journey. One minute you have good news, then the carpet is swept from under your feet. It's emotional torment but once the treatment starts it feels a lot better. I hope you hear some comforting news tomorrow.

Hugs,

Flying Vic that means so much to me at this time. I am having another breakdown into tears right now. I am in the kitchen cooking her good food. And she is on the bed sleeping.

She was so active bit is now so different.

I look at her and it hurts me so bad.

Oh god it hurts so bad.

O doesn't it just,we are in the most horrible club of all,if the thing attacking your loved one was a person. YoudY fight tooth and nail you''d kill to protect your loved one but this is a whole new ball game your so helpless in everyway except one your love your strength your belief will give them that purpose to turn to cancer and say 

WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER

Sending a hug , l Understand how you feel my husband is going through WBT for secondary brain mets. You are not alone. Carole x

Hi Goodhubby,

Just read your post. I am so sorry. I feel for you so much.

My partner is having discomfort at the moment in the stomach area,and I know how you are feeling regarding results...

We have a scan Tuesday,and review on 17th,of which I am sure we will receive the results. I fear bad news,I know I should be strong and positive, and I do try very hard,and succeed most of the time, but we are human,and when we love someone so much it affects you.

I am sending you both a lot of love.xx

Morning yep feel your pain when you see your hubby crying it breaks my heart the food he enjoyed no longer wants to eat and he’s still trying very hard to be strong sending  hugs