This is so sudden, and all new to me

Last Saturday we found out my mother has terminally ill cancer, the Consultant said she has weeks, or maybe months.  Well that is what I am sure she said but was all a bit of a shock. 

She is at home on medication and we saw her yesterday and she was in good spirits but chatting to my father this evening she had a good day but is in pain this evening.  My first reaction is that this could be it !!!

I was very tempted to say I would go there, 1 & 1/2 to 1 & 3/4 hours away but I didn't for two reasons:

• I only got 3 hours sleep last night because my brain cannot switch off and I am unsafe to drive that far at 10pm in the evening
• If I jumped at every pain or change then I would not be told of her condition as in my parent's eye it would stop me worrying, the fact is I'd worry more.

I am packing a small back that I can grab if I need to get there quickly.