Terminal husband being sent home - I'm terrified

Hi Jools

I don't think you are being overly anxious or even selfish you are trying to be practical and looking to the future.

I'm not surprised that you are being sceptical as it sounds as if the promised help is very veiled and not very informative.

I would suggest that you look at this Social care and support guide and have an assessment made on your partner and a carers assessment for yourself.

These will be carried out by your local councils Adult Social Team and will look into all aspects of the care that both of you will need which could involve adaptations to your home to make it safe for your partner.

I would tell the hospital that you are awaiting for the assessment and you think your partner shouldn't come home until the assessments are carried out even it means that he is placed in a temporary care facility for a few weeks, the maximum time that someone can be in one that is funded is about 6 weeks although I was in one for 8 weeks because I picked up an infection.

Once the assessments are carried out you should receive a written care plan for both of you, this normally takes about two weeks after the assessment date and can be altered and amended as the situation requires it.

It can be very worrying thinking about accidents that could happen in the house and being small yourself how would you lift him if he was to have a fall or have a tumble down stairs if these were to happen it's a quick 999 call for assistance. Your care assessment should look at all these things and where practical install guard rails and grab rails around the house including the bathroom. There are local authority Grant's for adaptions for this things like walk in showers which the social care team and the occupational therapist can put into action.

You need to think positive and arrange to put these plans into action as soon as possible. You can also speak to your GP about this.

If you need to talk someone we have our telephone support line where you can speak to a real person who will give you advice. The number is 0808 808 0000 and its manned 7 days a week between 8 am and 8 pm, on the same number we have financial experts who can give you advice and also benefits and work advisers.

It might be worthwhile when you visit your partner next week to pop into, if there is one in the hospital, the Macmillan Information Support Centre and speak to them about your concerns.

I hope I've been of help and if you need to chat or ask anything else please just me a shout and I'll do what I can to help you.

Ian