Hi
I have been doing really well. Moving forward. Today I have hit a brick wall.
Full of tears again. It is a year ago since we got diagnosis. He was supposed to be here still for a year or two but only 3 months max. I am starting to think was there anything else I should have done again. It is stressing me and my asthma has exacerbated. I am coughing so much. I can't get on top of it even with oral steroids. I phoned the GP yesterday as work was worried. I can't be coughing all the time. Now I have to stay off and have a covid test. The Dr was on about hospital. Absolutely no chance as I have no trust in them after all the mistakes with Ric. I am pretty sure it is only my asthma and I am not I'll just coughing.
To cap it all, my unfortunate mistake is starting to send out mixed messages to me! One minute he wants my friendship, then a relationship and then nothing. He unfriended me last night on FB and to be honest that was fine. He has another jealous woman on the go and I don't need it but this morning I get a private message implying friendship again. I just said what is this all about? I don't need this.
I just want a big hug from someone who cares and lives me and now I am isolated and waiting to hear about a covid test. I need to work and be busy. I have little to do at home except think! Which I 
n't want to do at the moment. I just wish it would all get better and go back to normal I saw s memory on FB of a holiday a few years ago this morning and find myself wishing I could go back! The mo I stress, the more I cough!!! 
