1 year

Hi mine now into 15 months he passed away from stage 4 bowel diagnosed in the Aug,  4 months later gone.  We had nearly 18 years together, never engaged although i used to craze him lol, he was 54, love of my life and still is. Like you I get angry and jealous at other couples. People say you will meet someone else in a few years time and I think you have still got your partner and couldn't imagine anyone else so why would I. I dream of my partner nearly every night, someone said cos he misses you as much as you do him. I think of him all day and night everyday.  People carry on with their lives but I feel stuck in my heart. Big hugs to you x

Hi heartbreak and dewy. Im 6 months along and feel the same. I feel sad that we dont have any retirement together and yes everyone around is talking about their holudays and plans when I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. 

We are a decent bunch here so pop in when you feel like it, we all get it here.

I was at the Post office a few weeks ago. I kept the door open for an elderly man with a stick. As he went to the next counter the Post office manager was chatting asking how he was . He said his name ,same name as my Hubby and I felt like someone had stabbed me. The man must have been 90 ISH . I could have screamed .I couldn't get out fast enough and cried all the way back to the house. Ok We were together for 49 years ,47 married. But he had been ill most of that time. Not quite so bad at the beginning ,but gradually his spinal injury got worse and nobody would operate. The last 15-20 years he was bad at times ,gaining more health problems. He was so brave and rarely complained. But it had a big impact on our lives as a family. So even though we were together a long time it still wasn't enough. I hoped after moving house I would be able to concentrate more on him and try make his life easier and Happier ,but we too ran out of time. So I still feel robbed . 

Hello Dewy!

Well done reaching the 1 year milestone. I won't tell you things will get better from now on because we all grieve differently. I am just heading into year 3 in June and some days I still can't comprehend he is gone. He retired in 2019 after working 50 odd years with hardly a sick day off. Retires, and then it is a constant round of hospitals, GPs oncologists and specialists. He never got to see our son get married in February last year (2025) and the birth of our 2nd little granddaughter in October 2025 or the oldest one who is coming up for 6 years old start school last August. He got to see her first two years though and was over the moon at becoming a grandad. Sometimes I just sit and think of the unfairness of it all. So much we still wanted to do but cancer took it all from us. This forum is a lifeline for all of us so just keep coming here when you feel you need to. I wish you well moving forwards. Take Care.

Vicky.