Hi All,
It is 8 months since Ric passed and I am trying to move forward. I redecorated last week and took our wedding photo off the wall. I have replaced it with a couple in the rain holding a purple (my fav colour) umbrella. Ric would have always shared an umbrella so although it is a neutral picture it sort of isn't. I have painted the walls in grey with a mulberry purple feature wall! Ric would have groaned but it is me!!! I have ordered a new three piece too. I am very eased with the room and have changed furniture too. I wanted it to be me!!
I went out tonight with an old male friend. He has just split with his girlfriend. I am happy to be friends and had a nice evening, just casually chatting. He has asked me to have Sunday lunch too in a pub. He never touched me or anything and he knows I am not looking for anyone but I feel he may want more. Not sure how I should manage this one. I don't want to upset him, he is a nice guy but not my type but lovely to chat to. Just thinking that I should maybe nip it in the bud even if I had a nice time before it gets complicated.
Love Alison xxx
I think if it was me I would put off catching up with him again for a couple of weeks at least. His hopes may be increased if you meet up so soon after your last meet up. He might think you're keen if you do!
Well done on the decorating. Our rooms are desperately in need of doing too, maybe next year I can hire you to do mine
Good luck xx
Thank you Ali and Bootsy. I am not ready for a relationship but do enjoy male company but I think he really wants a friend with benefits!!! I think this is dodgy ground!! I am not desperate for sex yet and I don't fancy him. So I think I can easily make up excuses as it is Hannah is 17 in 10 days and I am looking for a car etc for her. Also busy at work!!! Working overtime too. I may be doing a few hours a week extra permanently soon too.
I enjoyed my decorating and had a sense of achievement but it was really hard work with my hip! I am going to get my hallway and stairs done from me though.i only do all these things Ali because being busy is my coping mechanism!!! I will probably crack eventually!
Love and hugs Alison xxx
I guess you just know. I met the old male friend twice now, had lunch today. He is a nice chap but I don't fancy him and I think he wants more! As a friend I can chat but no more! Maybe part of it is because I am not ready. The other maybe silly thing was our song was playing when I got there today! Might be telling me not the one!
Trust your gut feeling. I have managed to not make another be date without causing offense. I think I will stay hidden for now! Lol.
It is just too early for me. You don't quite sound ready either as you sound doubtful.
Take care Martin, look after yourself first
Love Alison xxx
Hi Alison
I do the best can to look after myself but get a bit lazy and don’t want to do anything sometimes
im not ready I still talk to her say good nite tell her I miss her and tell Diane I love her every nite and morning
when I go to work in morning I dread it
so no more lunch dates for you at the moment
take care
Martin x
Hi Alison
I tried to post a response to you last night and it's disappeared ... Must have said something inappropriate
I think you should go with your instincts. If he's a genuine friend then he'll be willing to accept the fact that you just like his company
However, please be careful incase he's trying to get back at his ex by seeing you ... I'd hate to see you hurt
Take care
Lizzy
Hi Alison
If you're not interested your not, my advice would be to tell the guy straight and try to pin point the moment his world collapses!
Seriously though if he has just split up with someone it's likely he either.
Needs a shoulder to cry on
Fancies a bit of hanky panky
Or cares a lot about you
But if you don't want to know you don't!
Better to destroy him now rather than later!!
Hi Mccmcc
He wants a bit of hanky panky I think but he has always been a bit suggestive. I have known him for years. He is genuinely a nice and funny guy but I think he appreciates that I am like his company but no more. He has been respectible .
I have left the situation open but he seems happy with that. I am bit of an old fashioned girl, I have only ever slept with my two husbands.
We will see what happens?
Love Alison xxx
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007