Loosing my wife of 32 years, how do I cope?

Hi Reg, So sorry you are struggling too. I’m still finding this horrible “new life” unbearable & spend most of the day in tears & asking my husband to come back. I know he’s gone but, I can’t bear the thought of never seeing him or hear his voice again. 

So I can truly say I know how you feel & you’re not alone in feeling this way. I will be thinking of you & your kids tomorrow for your wife’s funeral. 

I get by hour by hour for my sons sake, they’ve lost their Dad & I couldn’t put them through additional heartache, it’s so very difficult.

Take care P.

Thanks for your support everything just doesn't make sense I am ever so lonely although I have the kids around me its so hard day by day some days I don't know how I get through them I am ever so grateful for your support take care of yourself Reg

Bless you Reggie it's a day every1 will be dreading but it's also 1 if those things we have to do as part of the process unfortunately.  My heart goes out to you all, I think back to Colins funeral 18 weeks ago (passed 20 weeks and 2 days ago) and it's not the best memory but was something we had to go through. There's a childrens book We're going on a bear hunt - the thread running in it is 

We can't go over it

We can't go under it

We've got to go through it

It's also been on tv I think. Worth a watch/ read.

I will be thinking of you all tomorrow, best advice- have packets of tissues to share out for those who might forget! 

Lotsalove x

Thanks for your support we all have to become stronger in time i guess  times a great healer lots of love x

 we must all stay strong some days you dont feel strong hang in there thats all i keep telling myself look after yourself Reg x

hope you're ok  Reggie

 morning really struggling since the funeral have had some terrible moments where i just dont know if this is for me anymore i know this is wrong and selfish of me and i am feeling ever so week at this moment in time how are you getting on with things are you getting out much and are there any small signs of feeling any better  i will be returning back to work shortly in two frames of mind about going back i very much hope that things can start to improve for us all its such a shame that we all live so far away take care look forward to speaking soon god bless Reg x

Morning Reggie

Hope your ok? although thats a silly question.

My sincere condolences for your loss.

Your message resonated with me. I was in a similar situation over 2 years ago, totally lost, living in a vacuum, numb etc and to some degree I have moments even now like that.

All I can say , if it helps, is what I was told and that was it doesn't get any better but we learn to live with it. That sounds cold but in reality that's what we do.

I wish you well for the future and enjoy the happy memories you had with your late wife and enjoy future ones with your sons

Mike

Take things at a slow pace Reggie.  It's such early days for you all but tomorrow will come and you'll get up, shower get dressed and you will get through another day. You can always go to the doctors who can prescribe something for you (lots if people do) or contact cruse bereavement services. 

Did you go on you tube to watch We're going on a bear hunt' yet?  

I'm into week 21 and am still up and down but when you hear other bereavers' stories they are proof that we can get through this terrible chapter in our book of life  

Take care x

Hi Reggie,

We truly do go on or move forward! We still miss them and live them but we get back to life albeit different.

I have just redecorated my lounge/diner, all on my own! My daughter is on s mini holiday and son was working. It was the first time I have done such a big room alone! I am pleased with it. New colours, my colours ( always influenced in the past) and cut down on furniture and clutter! The room is brighter and airy now. I have taken our wedding photos off the wall and put on neutral pictures instead. Just feels right now. It is 8 months since Ric left us. I still have some photos but scaled down. He is all over my phone still!! 

The first few weeks are the hardest but you will gradually, find you cry less and eventually managed a few days in a row with no tears. I cry a lot less now but still regularly think about him. He wouldn't want me to put my life on hold. I spoke to one of his daughters this week who has gone into a depression. Not sure why when she didn't show him she cared enough times!! But she is feeling more positive now. 

Take care. It will slowly get easier

Love and hugs Alison xxx