Done it at last!!!

So proud that you got it done you will feel a bit lighter now it’s not hanging over you well done that must have taken so much strength. Ric  will be proud of you. 
 Sheila x

Alison,

Well done, that will be a huge weight lifted from your shoulders. It has been hanging over you for so long, now finally you can close the door on it and carry on with your grieving as it must have been on your mind all the time, especially the anger.

Love and hugs Ali x

Thanks Shelia and Ali,

It is a relief to have done it! I am glad that I bit the bullet now. I hope I have made Ric proud as I have certainly worded it strongly and told them straight. I have felt better today.

I will just put the certificate in a draw when it arrives, hopefully when this lockdown also finished and I can then set him free. 

My son said to me last night, mum why don't you just scatter Ric and take the £30 fine if you get caught. I will pay it. You need to let him go free. I won't because it won't be the right date anyway now but it did make me think!I also wouldn't take the risk.  But I think Ric would be pleased that he wanted to.help too. He is a good son.

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Alison 

well done you have sorted it out now where are you going to scatter ashes 

are you back at work now too 

take care 

Martin x

Hi Martin,

Yes I had s negative test! First in the area to be done!!! So went back to work Saturday! I actually enjoyed my shift, I was doing some emergency spinal surgery care, more my line as I have orthopaedic qualifications.

I am going to scatter Ric at Bovington. He did all his basic training there and tank driver training there. He also spent his teen years there. I also have some of his mum and dad so I am going to scatter them all together. I had planned to do it on his regimental reunion weekend but couldn't! I will try and find another appropriate date.

I have a small pot of ashes in my garden with his dog tags and a special necklace I bought. Buried under his guardian angel ornament that he gave me and next to our summerhouse with a purple rose I bought.

I feel so much better from writing his statement and feel like I have now had my say even if doesn't make a difference! Lol.

Keep going. I am sure we will all get there. This grieving is hard. I do feel him around me now and he gives me little signs. 

Love and hugs Alison xxx

Hi Alison 

so your shifts at work are better sounds like you enjoyed that shift 

and you have everything planned for releasing Rics ashes and the paper work done and you feel a bit better 

I’ve been having good days bad days when home try to go for a walk just to clear my head  work has been busy tho got a week off a beginning of may going to sort the estate out that will be done then 

the worst thing in the grieving is I miss her so much and the loneliness it’s been driving me mad you miss their company and being their when you walk in the door 

take care 

Martin x

Hi Martin,

I have the same week off. I aim to complete a couple more jobs, washing the patio and painting the fence in the back garden. 

I am going to try and start having a daily walk. I need some exercise! Getting too tubby snacking! And it will do me good! 

Enjoy your holiday and try and do something for yourself too.it is lonely, even with my two at home I still feel the loneliness, no one to discuss our TV favourites etc.

Take care 

Alison xxx

Hi Alison 

you are going to be busy I have hard job getting out bed  of these day unless I know I have too what has happened to me 

I’m not going to we always you to go away the first two weeks in may for our fishing holiday 

I’ve got to get car serviced the garage is still working   Paint the bedroom  sort through some boxes   I have no garden  lol gets me out of gardening 

and have been for half hours walk tonight  and the tv programs you both use to watch together which I don’t want to watch now.being honest   Just watch crap now 

take care 

Martin x