Four Year's today we started the hardest road any one could ravel

Hi Ellie you have your rant  sometimes I want to stand and scream  to get it out then I’m angry  because I boil up then I feel guilty for being here and how I’m plodding along  and Diane voice in my head saying you are not doing that right or why are you buying that for 

I have a couple of good days then down hill again

martin x

Oh Ellie, you are perfectly entitled to a rant.

I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. After going through all that yourself to then lose your loved one just as things were looking up for you. Life can be so cruel.

Same here Martin, I think hey I'm ok, I'm doing this, then something hits you like a brick and you are back sobbing again.

I sometimes wonder how we all manage to get through each day....we are stronger than we think!

Love and hugs. Ali x

Hi Ali 

ellie is very strong I don’t know how she got through it all 

we all have to strong and guilty at same time  and try to get through each day I drag myself out of bed go to work middle of day I get down  why did this happen to us   I drive a truck for a living a customer treat drivers like leper’s because of the virus  I really don’t need that I feel like giving up some days 

do you think Geoff will let me have one of his bottles of vodka  I poured  18 bottles of drink down the drain when Diane died 

take care 

Martin x