Time

Hi Heartbreak,

 You know you never have to apologise, for saying how you feel on here. We all need to release the valve sometimes. 

I am like you, over 13 months on this path. You don't know how to act, do you pretend or tell them the truth you are still so broken and lost. At least on here you can be honest. 

Take care

I completely understand, I lost my husband two years ago today. I find it very weird when people say ‘it’s early days, you will meet someone else’ they don’t seem to understand that I still feel married, in my heart I’m married and, like you, the thought of being with anyone else makes me feel sick. 
A friend gave me the most honest advice. She said she doesn’t imagine it will get easier but the pain will eventually become gentler

You must also be gentle and kind with yourself, so what if you laugh and joke, so what if you don’t feel like it on the inside and so what if people think you have moved on? What matters is you. You know how you feel and I’d suggest people who pass judgement (although they probably aren’t) have obviously never suffered the trauma you have and have different priorities in life