I just want to be dead i want to die i want to be with linzi ..i have nothink left i just cant cope anymore i feel like im counting the days down ....i just really really want to be dead ,its a thought that is with me everyday ..surely its my right to leave this world if i want too the pain i feel is like being i fire ,,,im just not sure i can go on any longer ...i cant be helped ,, because im messed up ,,it took my beautiful wife years to figure me out and i just dont want the help i want the world to hate me because i hate myself ,i feel nothink anymore i feel nothink i feel empty like theres no one home in my body n mind....i dont wanna talk to mental health ppl or councillors because they dont have a clue ,they just see u for 45 minutes too talk about the love of life i need a billion hours to about linzi ...i am just dead inside i feel nothink im dead inside i feel nothink ..im going to sleep to wake up another shi*%y day on earth ......i cant take much more ....i lose everything in life and then the two ppl who give me a reason to live have gone ...i dont believe my daughter will find me as her mom has brought her ex partner back into my daughters life after my daughter didnt see him for two years and replaced me with him ,shes done a number on my daughter by brain washing her turning her against me......i just think this world and my daughter would be better off without me...there was nothink that triggered me to feel like this ,this has been like this for a while now and i just cant take much more ...if i live my life i feel like a apple that sits there and its gonna go rotten on the inside ...i just dont know ......lindsey my love im lost without you ....xx
