Feeling worse now!

FormerMember
FormerMember
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I’m 5 months into this journey. My husband died in December and I thought I was doing ok, looking after my 3 children and running my new business and keeping my husbands business going. But recently I feel I’m not coping as well, I’ve had lots of “firsts” recently to get through, including my 21st wedding anniversary today. 

Some days it all just feels too much and I feel I can’t hold it together any more or for much longer. My children are having a tough time too and I Feel so bad that I can’t make it better for them but I’m tired of that too. I have good family support but feel I can’t rely too much on them for everything, I’m a single parent now, much as I never wanted to be. 

I’m sad and tired of it all, thought it would get easier but it’s worse now than ever. 

Do others find this after a few months or is it just me?!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Your not alone.  I was widowed 1st time over 30 years ago with 2 very young children aged 3ys & baby of 4 months, with no family support.  It was a very sudden coronary. I spent the 1st year being constantly angry but thankfully had good friends around me.  I was widowed again last October after a 6week stay in hospital due to brain tumour.  This time the house is empty except for his spaniel.  Since February I found im crying daily,  & several friends are keeping there distance.  I know it's temporary and I'll get through it & so will you.  Your children will give you  the reason to get on with things.  It's true that the 1st year is the hardest.  All those birthdays,  anniversaries,  events etc.  Last time I was 30 & now  im double that,  it's harder to bounce back.  This post is the first time ive came back here for 6 months.  It's good to be able to vent your feelings on a page like this.    You'll have bad days & worse days,  but you'll smile again,  please believe me that you will.  I hope it's the hardest thing that you ever have to go through in life. You take care of yourself.  X

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Your not alone.  I was widowed 1st time over 30 years ago with 2 very young children aged 3ys & baby of 4 months, with no family support.  It was a very sudden coronary. I spent the 1st year being constantly angry but thankfully had good friends around me.  I was widowed again last October after a 6week stay in hospital due to cancerous  brain tumour.  This time the house is empty except for his spaniel.  Since February I found im crying daily,  & several friends are keeping there distance.  I know it's temporary and I'll get through it & so will you.  Your children will give you  the reason to get on with things.  It's true that the 1st year is the hardest.  All those birthdays,  anniversaries,  events etc.  Last time I was 30 & now  im double that,  it's harder to bounce back.  This post is the first time ive came back here for 6 months.  It's good to be able to vent your feelings on a page like this.    You'll have bad days & worse days,  but you'll smile again,  please believe me that you will.  I hope it's the hardest thing that you ever have to go through in life. You take care of yourself.  X