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In this blog I want to address what it is like to live with the fear of cancer, post remission and post being told you may be cured.
In 1999 I was diagnosed with an Osteosarcoma in my right fibula bone. I was 12 years old and had never even heard of cancer before. The only person in my family to have had a cancer was my granddad who passed away before I was born - and nobody spoke of it. But the emotional and mental damage that did to family members is still with them today.
Over the last 14 years...
Sitting in garden at daughters cottage, hubby and I having a few days just relaxing and spending good quality time with her. Times are tough and sad and breaks my heart to see hubby withdrawn and so unlike his normal happy, cheeky chatty self. He is meant to be starting anti depressants but now doesn't want them, but he has accepted councelling and hope that will help him to find some peace within himself. Today and next few days its ice creams barbeques pub lunches and just living with the best...
It's nearly three months since mum and dad passed away and i was getting on with things. Going to work and doing every day stuff. I still think about them constantly and wake up crying from dreams I've had of them, but I thought I was doing well.
Then a new boss took over at work and now I can't face going there. Nothing anyone does is good enough and sometimes he talks to you like you've been summoned to the headmasters office. I started looking for a new job and passed an interview for...
During my treatment and ever before my diagnosis I remember reading the stories of people who have overcome this vicious and relentless disease. They go on to conquer the world, looking almost like they never suffered. Or the people that easily slip back into normality as if life was simply on pause and they pressed the play button the second the word 'remission' was written in their notes.
This is something that for the majority is a Lie. A big fat horrible emotionally crippling lie. For...
I've not updated recently since my forth cycle, mostly as I just couldn't get the motivation to.
As those who read the post know I had a pretty rough time with sickness, nausea, on my third cycle. When I went for my forth cycle pre bloods we discussed at length what could be done and the docs where pretty much of the opinion I don't need to have that much sickness and I was just unfortunate the anti emetics I was on, which they said were the best ones, just weren't doing it...
I am sitting here in my sitting room, the television is on,(too hot outside), my husband is sitting in the chair next to me and I am just wondering how on earth can our lives change so much in one weekend in the middle of May. What we thought was a mini stroke that was affecting his speech has turned out to be a large brain tumour, some of which they have managed to remove but not all. We then had the histology results the week before last and told it was a malignant growth and last week at our initial...
