Getting on with things

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

9 Jul 2013

It's nearly three months since mum and dad passed away and i was getting on with things. Going to work and doing every day stuff. I still think about them constantly and wake up crying from dreams I've had of them, but I thought I was doing well.

Then a new boss took over at work and now I can't face going there. Nothing anyone does is good enough and sometimes he talks to you like you've been summoned to the headmasters office. I started looking for a new job and passed an interview for a temporary one. Never mentioned it to anyone, then after a particularly horrible weekend at work I went in yesterday to hand in my notice. Big boss wasn't in so i spoke to my line manager about how I felt. She talked me into staying on for one shift a weeek until I know for sure if I like the new job and told me not to mention the new job to anyone.

Now I have to go in and talk to shift manager about going down to one shift. Not sure if I should tell her how I feel about working for the new boss because I'm not sure what she will do with the information. I want to be honest with her and tell her I can't cope with working in that kind of environment as well as dealing with how I feel about mam and dad. I am not willing to put my health at risk for the sake of a job, but the new job is only temporary so I made need to keep my options open.

Most days I don't even want to get out of bed and if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't bother. I feel like I don't want to work anymore I just want to spend time with my family because life is too short and they'll be leaving home and having their own lives.

My dad would probably be kicking me up the backside by now and telling me to get on with it,

FormerMember over 11 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about you losing both of your parents. It must be incredibly difficult.

How many children do you have, if you don't mind me asking?

It sounds like you have a lot of pressure on you at the moment, whilst coping with this heartbreaking loss. Have you spoken to your GP? Would you think about counselling? Do your work know about your loss?

I don't want to give you advice, because who am I to do that, but please remember that you have had a lot to deal with and without the experience of this, with stress at work, that's enough for someone to cause them stress.

It might not be your 'thing' but sometimes yoga can be great, not for exercise but for focusing the mind and helping it be cleared so you can focus on one thing. There's lots of videos on youtube.

I really hope you find the right thing for you to do, and no one else right now, so you can move through this experience and it becomes more manageable.
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FormerMember over 11 years ago

I have two children and although they are teenagers they are still the reason I get up every day.

I have thought about counselling but I'm not sure how helpful it would be.

Not sure how the much the new boss knows of my situation, but all the other managers know and through everything they have been great.

Some days I am fine and other's even the smallest thing sets me off. Looking at their photo's. Even a straw had me crying, because in his last few weeks Dad had to use a straw to drink. I can't remember any of the goods times we had together all I think of is their last few weeks.

I've decided not to make any decisions until I come back off my holiday in a couple of weeks. I'm not sure I am in the right frame of mind to make life changing decisions at the moment.
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