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I’ve been following the debate on whether The War Against Cancer is an unwinnable war in which the enemy is not engaged and where the collateral damage is people affected by cancer.
I’ve been mulling over where I stand on this. I can see that the fighting, battling, war-like metaphors are not always helpful. That they can leave those who “lose” the battle somehow feeling like it is their fault and put an enormous pressure on everyone to keep fighting even when the personal battle has, essentially...
Have tried really hard to be positive all the time. Was fairly certain when I found the lump just before Christmas that it would be breast cancer. Wasn't expecting it to be grade 3. Had expected surgery and was relieved to hear it hadn't travelled. Thing I am really struggling with is the preventative chemo and radiotherapy. As far as I knew before having cancer, chemo etc was to kill the cancer cells not for prevention. Not being silly, I know it has to be done but it's really hard. Picc line didn...
That song will never be the same to me again, not that I liked it in the first place. Breast lumps. They are still there. I am still concerned.
So I've been to see the doctor. She agrees that I am indeed developing more dodgy lumps that weren't previously there and aren't shifting either. She still doesn't know what to do. My bloods came back abnormal but a different abnormal to my usual results so she's sending an urgent fax to my haematologist to see if he wants to see me or whether he thinks I...
Georgie Porgie, oh what a mess,
Out of my depth, I have to confess,
Things that would make a small boy cry,
And princess, that's now passed me by,
When the girls come out to play,
Cover it up and wish it away
My attention span, below the grade,
The jelly belly the chemo made,
The dark days, the stark days,
Bald head for a lark days...
When the girls come out to play,
Cover it up and wish it away
The nurses just don't talk about,
The bottle where the guck comes out,
A re sculpture across...
We decided to tell kee what's going on and why she is so sick. It was probably the hardest thing I've had to do so far in my life, we told her that there was a nasty bump inside her head and that's what's been making her poorly and that's why we have to see the doctors in london on monday.
She asked when the bump will go away and we explained that the doctors will try make it go away, but they might not be able to because it's inside her head. The hardest bit was trying to explain...
Kee wanted to go to school today as she missed her friends yesterday being at the hospital so we let her go in. We obviously phoned in and told the school of our situation, but as she has few symptoms at the moment, I hope she isn't suffering too much. Keeping things normal will hopefully help her, we haven't explained it all properly with her yet, but she knows she is poorly and will have to see the doctors lots.
The lump that I was assured would vanish after my period is still very much in place, still not moored to anything and still no bigger. Swings and roundabouts on the lumpy news scale really isn't it! I have come to the conclusion that if the lump is cancer and they want to 'whop off a boob' as it were that I'll ask if they'd kindly take the other one while they're at it. This would be good because I'd remain symmetrical in my breastless state, there would be less of me to grow new cancer and it'd...
To all you lovely peeps out there waiting to hear what happened at the MDT meeting today, and who are watching my blog – no news, I'm afraid.
Apparently the CT scan was inconclusive – they couldn’t tell which part of the bowel was involved in the fistula, and if they don’t know that, they can’t operate. I thought Tracy, the lovely nurse who called me, was going to say that they would do an exploratory operation to see what was going on, but no, this time it’s an...
My chest is obsolete,
The B cup mass a cheat,
The stitching neat,
A tuck, a pleat,
Yet halter tops still sweet...
I know it was just meat,
And cancer's not a treat,
The boob delete,
Survive, compete,
So am I incomplete?
I entered a competition with this poem, the topic was obsolete and whist the feedback was good, I think the angle was not what had been anticipated.
Reconstruction is always a tricky one, it nearly killed me (a closer call than the cancer actually, twice...) -nothing like a...
Sometimes I think there's nothing else to do but cry and do it hard.
I'm frightened today. It's my own fault for reading the Cancer Research Facebook update about a chap my age who had cancer when he was 15, which he'd found out had come back in February and is now terminal. I donated to his JustGiving page, freaked myself out and then tried to ignore it. My lump is indeed still there (well to be fair it was unlikely to have disappeared in two or three days). I am hoping very much that I just...
