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Hey
radiotherapy not until this evening so got my mates, Emma and Laura coming round for some dvds and chocolates!!!
Bless Emma she's ringing my doorbell at 7.30, knowing I had a bad day yesterday and that Alan leaves for work at 8, didn't wanna leave me on my own. (Shes my angel!!!)
Anyway we start by watching Impractical Jokers......very very amusing that's the level of my humour!! When I got the all clear Im gonna film UK female version.
Had some home made (alan made it) chicken noodle...
Absolutely s***ing my pants, Alan holding my hand the whole way.
Tablets taken now on route to radiotherapy.
Felt fine until sat down on the tube....... jeez do I feel sick. In the waiting room now...waiting. Jane on the front desk giving me a reassuring smile, maybe she knows I'm in bits!!!!
Sick twice radiotherapy done!!! That was the easy bit. Now on bus home looking like a pisshead all slumbered over Alan on the back seat, unable to lift my head coz Im gonna b sick again, so I sleep....all...
Arrived at hospital not knowing what to expect. I know it was explained why I was there and what was going to happen but now this shit felt real. Although I was diagnosed 3 weeks ago my way of dealing with things is to make light of the situation (how I here u ask? but i'm talented like that...lol), some people say not facing the reality, whatever the reason that's what I did. But today is the day it becomes real. I get them pills to take for the next 9 months to try and kill this terrible disease...
sorry been busy and distracted but today:
had my appointment this morning..... they checked me and said radiotherapy will take 2/3 months to work so i have that time off and do exercise and do what i can. then i will have another scan to see if anything happened.... then might go on chemo. but really its a waiting game for me
I lost my dad nearly 3 years ago to lung cancer.. Just writing this I feel sick to the pit of my stomach, my heart is aching. I miss him every single day. How can I move on when I have lost my best friend and there is so much that reminds me of him. The smallest thing can bring back so many memories and I wish I could find them as happy memories but since he has died they are all memories that leave me sad and filled with hurt.
I was 21 when he died and I feel as though I was old enough to accept...
I want somewhere to crawl into, it must be dark and enclosed. And just for me. The rest of the world Is not welcome.
The meeting was every bit as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I'm not angry with my consultant or nursey, I'm frustrated with me. What I wanted went down like a lead balloon, I knew it would do. I don't doubt for one second that the MDT are clinically right about the lumpectomies and radiotherapy but I'm not happy. Nursey came up with a contingency plan. If anything of concern...
So, last weekened wifey started staying up all night and 're-organising' the bedroom. But her mobility improved so I wasn't too concerned about the sudden desire to keep her handbag with her ALL THE TIME. In fact, I went to cuddle her in bed, but couldn't becasue the handbag was in-between us. I had to laugh. I didn't laugh for long. Wifey had convinced herself that I was 'interfering' with her medication. Unbeknown to me, she had 'appropriated' her medicine and was hiding...
£6.49.
Really, that's all it cost to really make me happy. I know I'm cheap.
Determined not to stop doing everything I normally do, I pushed on. So Sunday came and I didn't have the energy to much more than a bit of nice gardening. Feet up with a cup of tea after the dead heading, I had a long browse on eBay. I had mistakenly entered a wrongly worded search, up came something I couldn't quite believe; the most amazing fabric hoard that had one hour to go and was only at 99p. Come bid...
I don't like taking drugs, today I surrendered. It's all very well trying to tough it out and cope, however, Lord do they help. I couldn't carry on with only four hours sleep. Time to wave the flag and admit my GP might have been right. It's amazing what a day in the shed can do too. I almost feel normal again. Still in a bit of pain but even that's more bearable when you're having a nice time.
It wasn't just the drugs that made today a good day, it was the new super lovely...
Afternoon all,
What have we been up to since our break?
Well the oldest two children returned home on Tuesday full of their holiday away with their grandparents. They had a lovely time, spend some time at a caravan and playing on the beach, going to the fun fair and just generally getting to be children enjoying a holiday. We are very grateful for my dad and my step-mum for doing this, giving them this time to be children. It is important for them to get a break.
Wednesday was lovely weather and...
