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Wasn't intending on visiting today, but in the end I couldn't stop away. My brother went too, mum always seems chirpier when he's there. I joke and say it's favouritism, she saves her good days for him. Truth is I think she puts a brave face on for him, she knows how he is. He's not coping well, he's always been a sensitive sole, and is so protective of mum.
The nurse in charge spoke to us today, she is very concerned about fluid build up. Mum's been on a drip several...
Mum didn't want me to bring the lads to visit her today, she thought it best for them to stay at home. They haven't seen her in ages, and I fear that they will not see her ever again. But this was what mum wanted, she doesn't want them seeing her how she is.
She was sitting on her chair, still on a drip and still had the catheter. She was very down, lots of emotions coming out. She told me that she can't cope with the pain... 'they' don't know what to do with her.... she's scared...
Another early post. I'll be able to make early visiting today so there may be a 13th April part 2.
Struggling again today, i'ts been 2 weeks since the heartbreaking news. I've heard so may people in the past say that they have lost loved ones just weeks after being diagnosed, as few as 3 weeks I remember from one friend. We're 2 weeks in so that's constantly on mind. It's my birthday in 4 weeks time, will mum still be here? I can't think past today so I'll put that to the back of my mind....
So I will apologise in advance, this post may get removed by admin for breaching advertising guidelines (which actually means you won’t be reading this, so I am not sure why I am apologising....!)
Anyway, this time I want to talk about Panini World Cup stickers. Now, ok, I hear you say, but Greg, your profile suggests you are 39 years old - what, did you really do that badly at school - is that why you are doing something which is clearly designed for an 8 year old?
Well, I do have...
Not having a good day. I’m still getting lots of pain in my left buttock and leg. So much so that I now have a pronounced limp. The painkillers I’m on (Amitriptyline and Gabapentin) have cured to a great extent the pelvic pain I was getting (I still get the odd reminder however) but haven't touched my left leg. I went to the pain clinic yesterday. The doctor pushed and prodded me for a good while, lifting my legs and pushing my pelvis. From my cries of pain He diagnosed that I would need a steroid...
For the last couple of days I've been posting updates in the evening after seeing mum, today though, it's early afternoon. Just trying to make best use of my time, as I work full time and also have 2 teenagers. I've been backwards & forwards to the hospital most days in the last 2 weeks, it's not been too bad as the boys have been off school, but they went back today, luckily my husband works from home. They may be 13 & 17 but I hate the idea that I'm not there for them. A trait I've inherited from...
I bet that got your attention, didn’t it? Just wanted to make sure I got you 100% for this next pronouncement because this is really important. Cancer really does change everything and in many, strange and interesting ways. Like…
Marmite.
Yep, I have fallen completely, overwhelmingly, salivatingly in love with Marmite. WOW! And I mean, WOW! I always did like Marmite so was never in the hate camp, but I am now totally addicted. If this is food-porn, I want a full subscription to the Marmite...
It’s taken a while for me to fully understand what my thoughts were and I feel so much differently after cancer but also the same. I think when you are diagnosed with cancer, your mind goes into complete shock. I know mine did I was seating not really knowing what to say to the doctor who diagnosed me other then of course worrying over my holiday whether I could go or not. I was allowed.
I used to get so stressed over the most silly things but not all, regrettably but most I let things go...
Ok. So this is as far as I've got.
Before I begin. I need to tell you I have trouble spelling so if the words are miss spelt I apologise now. However I felt that I needed to write this or I'm gonna emotional burst.
I had a biopsy 2 weeks ago and almost to the day my phone rang asking me to attend a hospital appointment to discuss my result with a specialist nurse.
The main thing I managed to get from searching on the internet was that any news was generally given by a Doctor. So...
Another day, no biopsy. Don't know why, I asked but no-one available to speak to at that time. Mum not well again today, has been feeling dizzy all day, and she's developed a cough. She had a mixture of emotions this evening, tearful, frustrated, anger the lot. Upset, saying she can't cope with continually feeling ill. Frustrated at not being able to rub some body cream on her legs herself. Then anger, I can't even remember why, over something trivial I think.
Have had a few close...
