Mum didn't want me to bring the lads to visit her today, she thought it best for them to stay at home. They haven't seen her in ages, and I fear that they will not see her ever again. But this was what mum wanted, she doesn't want them seeing her how she is.
She was sitting on her chair, still on a drip and still had the catheter. She was very down, lots of emotions coming out. She told me that she can't cope with the pain... 'they' don't know what to do with her.... she's scared...don't know what's going to happen to her...can't understand why she's not feeling any better....just keeps getting worse...She could scream....
I'm at a loss what to say to her. He doctor told her to bear with them, results from all her tests are just days away. I can't comprehend what's going on in mum's mind. In some ways it seems that she has forgotten what she was told, that she thinks that theres a chance she will get better, or at least be well enough to come home. All the other ladies that were on the ward when she was admitted have one by one been discharged, I don't think that has helped mum's state of mind. There were some seriously ill ladies there, and I've no doubt that the reason they have gone home is not because they are well enough to go, but that there is nothing more the hospital can do for them.
For now though we have to continue to wait. I feel like I've waited a lifetime already, how can 2 weeks drag so slowly? But still we wait.
