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You get to see an awful lot of hospital departments once they decide you have cancer, and it seems that barely a day goes by without an appointment of some sort, or a phonecall, or a letter arrives. In my case, from the outset, every single time I've had any sort of dialogue whatsoever with the cancer specialists, there has been at least a little bit more of the bad news. The size and shape and colour and rate of growth and seriousness and treatment plan has just grown increasingly concerning...
Tomorrow is a very big day -
I'm back at the hospital to find out exactly how big a threat this cancer is.
When they operated, they took out three lymph nodes to test to see if it had
spread, and it had, so they then removed all the right armpit lymph nodes to
test the rest. Having read everything I can find to read about it, I now know
that there is a direct correlation between how many lymph nodes are affected,
and my likelihood of survival. It's all terribly exciting really.
I...
It's been a very difficult few days. It turns out that what the hospital doctor thought was fluid retention in the wound was actually a really nasty infection brewing. By yesterday, everywhere on my right hand side between my waist and my face was swollen back and front, and I was unable to put my hand down by my side. The pain has been indescribable. Last night I went to see my GP as an emergency, and he immediately put me on high doses of antibiotics, as well as prescribing yet more heavy...
Today has been a really rubbish day, both healthwise and emotionally, but with a few nice moments too.
Last night, things suddenly got very painful, and overnight the pain just got worse and worse to the point where I got virtually no sleep. By this morning I was worried, and in fairly severe pain, as well as exhausted beyond words. So, I know the drill; I'm supposed to ring the hospital and ask their advice. Could I do it? No. So I procrastinated and procrastinated, and worked myself up into...
It's very tiring, all this doing nothing, and I still feel like my brain is running two years behind everyone elses. Still not entirely sure that the words I emit bear any real relationship to the conversations flowing around me, but everyone is being very kind regardless.
I've actually had a very social day today. 10 years ago I moved away from our old house, which had the world's very best neighbours. Nearly every house seemed to have a baby or toddler, and their parents were the...
The whole world looks better and brighter today. First thing this morning, I crept up to the bathroom without advertising my plans to anyone, and washed my hair - I felt like a circus contortionist, and the whole act was as energetic as a full cardio vascular workout, but I managed it, including conditioner and hairdryer too, and somehow life just feels a whole load more manageable when your hair isn't sticking to your head. Despite getting told off by my Dad when I owned up, I was so ...
It really hasn't been a fabulously great day today. I knew I wouldn't feel brilliant for a few days following surgery, but I never expected to feel so ill. I feel dizzy, faint, detatched, fuzzy-headed and my ability to talk and follow conversations has just evaporated, which is probably a delightful bonus for my family and friends. I'm never ever lost for words, and usually have an opinion on everything, but joined up speaking is beyond me at the moment. If I'm not having fun talking, I usually...
It is so lovely to be back home in my new, bright red bedroom. Yesterday was not one of my favourite days ever, for a start, getting up at 5.30am really isn't something I'm good at, and then getting to the hospital for 7.30am, already shattered, starving and sleep deprived , for a really hectic morning schedule.
The staff at the hospital were universally really lovely, helpful and supportive, making both my wonderful man and I incredibly welcome and absolutely nothing was too much...
5 weeks ago, I learnt that I had breast cancer. I have done it really well, allowing two completely unrelated, entirely different cancers, one on each side. Horrible, harrowing devastating news, and yet the past five weeks have also brought so many positives. My friends, more than I knew I had, have been fabulously supportive, and their love and concern have carried me miles and kept my spirits higher than high. My family, always a solid rock in the background, have just risen to the challenge...
