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So last night was horrible, I went to bed ready to sleep and feeling exhausted and then all of a sudden a massive feeling of dread and panic washed over me, and 1000 thoughts went rushing through my head, after getting up and having a cigarette, then going back to bed, then getting up again having some paracetamol and more cigarettes I finally calmed down and got some sleep (albeit disturbed), then this morning looking on this site it was suggested that writing things down, my thoughts, my feelings...
Just over 3 months ago, quite out of the blue after getting back from holiday, we got the news that my lovely wife had stage 3 Ovarian cancer, when we just thought it was food poisening. She was also deteriorating fast due to more than 3 litres of fluid that had built up pressing on all essential organs and her lungs. We felt a mixture of devastated and scared. (we are not otherwise faint hearted souls) The consultants were worried about her deteriorating condition and rushed her into her first chemo...
day 1 is done and I got some sleep...
Up around 6 and stomach has strange cramping feeling, not necessarily sick just my muscles tightening up. Food and drink, followed by morning meds and I seem to be back on track. As my Etoposide was at 7pm on day 1 not allowed to receive until 5pm so I now know that I won't be getting out until late afternoon fol day.
a friend from the hospital pops in, followed by mum. So I spend all afternoon with company which definitely makes time fly. Scotland beat Japan...
After the exploding boob episode, you'd sort of hope that on the balance of probabilities my luck would even out wouldn't you? Only I don't believe in luck. If I did, I would be buying a four leaf clover, wearing a rabbit's foot (not so lucky for the rabbit) and finding a black cat to parade in front of me wherever I go.
Yesterday I had another boob draining session. Apart from the immediate relief that it brings, I will admit to a fascinating bonus of looking at my own exudate. I...
Hello all!
Been a few days since my last update. What have we been up to? Me, My Cancer and I? Well I have dragged it everywhere whether it wanted to go or not....
Older master T had his birthday party and a couple of friends over to stay, A did all the hard work due to me recovering from chemotherapy. Great fun was had by all. So proud of my growing boy, they all had a ball and his friends are so supportive of him while he travels this road with us.
My most recent chemo session was given after a...
After the shock of another cancer diagnosis in our family (my mother & dog have both had cancer in the last 5 years), my Dad has now been diagnosed. my 11 year old son is struggling and isn't wanting to attend school. I have informed the school of the situation and they are going to get a mentor involved to try & help Ben at this difficult time. I have also contacted the Macmillan helpline and I am getting some information sent out so that I can get my children through this in the best...
So, after a good weekend watching rugby (seeing Japan pull off the unthinkable) and generally doing as much as possible, reached Monday. Nic taken day off so I had support for session 1, ring chemo unit to find out what time I can come in. Due to late notice of starting BEACOPP I could not get scheduled on the normal chemo suite, so I was being treated as an "in-patient" meaning I got a bed on the ward.
The Dr was completing rounds on the ward so not sure if/when a bed would be available...
I had my 3 monthly review this morning which I have been terrified about all week. I was asked to complete a questionnaire on my feelings a week before I attended the review.
So last Monday I decided that tiredness was my main concern and anxiety was not present. How things can change in such a short time, by last night (Sunday) my anxiety was through the roof and tiredness was not present.
What changed ......... nothing apart from Mr Mind deciding that I was not listening enough to him. For the first...
It's been seven weeks since I had my mastectomy and lymph node clearance. They didn't find any cancer in the tissue that was removed and I jumped for joy!
I thought life would start to go back to normal... oh how I was wrong!! My new blog page has just been posted for anyone interested in seeing what my 'New Normal' is all about...
https://theartofsuffering.wordpress.com/2015/09/20/new-the-new-normal-september-2015/
Big Hugs
Liz x
In May this year, I started bleeding for a while after my period, and just thought it was probably an infection or something, so I went to have a smear. I started worrying when the nurse called the doctor into have a look, and the doctor wanted to do an internal examination, which she did. They then asked me to go to the GP’s room and by then I was really worried. We sat down and I could tell she was having trouble telling me something. Then she said that she was really sorry but she had found a...
