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I'm sorry to all the innocent people out there that I give angry looks to when they are smiling or chatting to their friends, laughing. I don't need that - you don't, and will never understand me. You don't know how much it makes my blood boil that you will have a normal Christmas, you will not know what it feels like to have the one fear in your life come true - and have to live through it.
My mom has gone, I will never see her again, never celebrate Christmas with her again.Never...
Bert has not been good for the past week with bone pain and extreme fatigue, he is asleep for almost 20 hours a day. His feet and ankles are very swollen and he will have to go into hospital tomorrow wearing his summer sandals as it is the only thing we can get on his feet.
He is scared of what has to come from tomorrow on, Chemo will start I assume tomorrow or Tuesday and Transplant day will be the 16th Dec
l will start another Blog from tomorrow as it will be different treatment but most likely...
Not really much to catch up on but my Mum's just asked me what I've been doing for the last two days and I couldn't remember. So this is a test :)
I've had a cold for a week - nothing serious, no temperature, sore throat or aches just a runny nose and a bit of sneezing. Anyway started coughing a bit and occasionally coughing up phlegm - nothing major but I'd been told to ring in (hospital) if this happened. So, like a good girl, did what I was told and they rang my GP to arrange...
Hey all,
Just thought i would post a little update on me, myself and the hedgehog after explaining the situation in my last blog. A few things have happened since then so lets start at the very beginning.....
I went away on Friday to the Lake DIstrict, came home today, got back about 2 hours ago and after unpacking my bags, decided to catch up on what I mite have missed over the last few days. And so this leads me to my question ... Why is good news always followed by bad news? I know some will...
I am starting to get worried Clive is going down hill. He is so tired all the time and has been feeling sick or has stomach ache. So is not eating that well. His back is aching most of the time too.
I suppose he will have good and bad days, but I just looked at the symptoms of advanced cancer on this website and saw much of what he is experiencing fits. He seems quite antisocial and not that interested in things, and certainly seems to have lost any get up and go. I just want to see him smiling again...
Well, it's results day tomorrow.
I finished chemo in about August. I had a CT and a PET scan in September, and got the results, which werent great. (See my blod titled 'Not great news at appointment yesterday).
EVen though I was PET positive, and one tumour had grown, they decided to leave me till the end of November, when I would have another scan. (30th November).
Now to me...when the cancer has grown whilst i've been on chemo....it's most likely going to grow in the time i've NOT had...
I couldnt feel further away. Had to return home to scotland after spending 2 weeks with him at his home and in hospital.
Trev has been feeling poorly for about 6 weeks. Flu type aches and shivers and a raging sore belly. Docs told him he had a torn muscle and then changed it to having indigestion.
The last doc he saw could see how ill he was and sent him straight to hospital for an endoscopy. That showed up abnormal lumps in his belly. Straight for a cat scan the next day which showed up lesions...
I drove to Wales this morning, ( was meant to go last night) with a heavy heart..Saurday Dec 5th....Dads 65th birthday.....the day we scatter his ashes. Arrived at Dads didnt want to pull on to driveway, didnt want to go in and find him not there. Found some strength (brother nagging all the way) and went inside..I could smell him was convinced if I went in the lounge he would be there and this nightmare would be over, my heart was breaking but there in a black silk bag with a white rose on it was...
Ok you lot on the other side of the pond. I'm already having withdrawal symptoms from X Factor. I watched every single show until I flew back here last Monday. Sad I know.
Did I miss much and who is going tomorrow. I need to know.
Love
Lorraine
x
