I drove to Wales this morning, ( was meant to go last night) with a heavy heart..Saurday Dec 5th....Dads 65th birthday.....the day we scatter his ashes. Arrived at Dads didnt want to pull on to driveway, didnt want to go in and find him not there. Found some strength (brother nagging all the way) and went inside..I could smell him was convinced if I went in the lounge he would be there and this nightmare would be over…
Where have the last 2 weeks gone, people around you just returning to normal,almost expecting you to do the same, but I cant the dont they realise my life has changed forever. The last 2 weeks have at times seem to have flown by and at others dragged. All I know is I miss my dad.I cant put on this brave smiley face and be nice to customers that moan that there car is taking a little longer than they thought it would. I want…
Today we gathered to say goodbye to my dad, so many people some who knew him for a lifetime, some a short while. Was so lovely to see and hear people talking about him with such fond thoughts.I was very proud to be his daughter. So proud he was welsh, so proud to say "that was my Dad", the service was lovely, the minister so kind.
Its a week tomorrow since I lost my wonderful Dad, I struggle with the fact it…
Today has been a rubbish day, Dads goodbye is all sorted and today there was nothing to do, didnt need to ring Wales to check he was ok suppose have been kept busy the last couple of days,losing him on sunday evening,going to see him one last time on monday, arranging his goodbye and travelling home Tuesday and now nothing....just an awful feeling of complete loss and emptiness.
I feel so cold I just cant get warm.
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Dad seems to be getting very weak & i just cant seem to get the answers i need. I dont know who to ask and feel like I am being kept in the dark. Scared it will be too late and I wont have done enough.
