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I can't believe my lovely Paul will never come home. I'm so sad . All i can remember is the awfull time he died. Him struggling for breath his funny colour his half open eyes and the stillness of his chest. The sheer terror i felt the total panic and desperation cos i didn't want him to leave me but knowing he should to stop this awfull cruel spitefull desease.
How can i go on . I feel like a robot just going through the motions. I do have really happy times but i just want him with...
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i am sitting here shaking i do not know how i feel i cant explain it properly just not right, i am just so easily frustrated at the moment and my mood is awful, its so close to xmas and i worry i am wasting the atmosphere i promised the kids i'd make cakes today but i just cant bring myself to do it or find the strength/energy. i had chemo mon/tues and uptill yesterday i felt ok, last night i started off with a sore neck and by this morning i am sore right down to my ribs especially under my arms...
For the first time in 16 months Bert slept all night, I didn't cos I kept expecting him to waken for the toilet. He can't get himself out of bed when he wakes up as he is normally in pain and can't get his legs to work. 7am he woke I got him up for the loo and sneaked back into bed as it was freezing.
I never heard him come out of the loo never noticed him either as I was reading the next hing is a very loud clatter as he falls down the stairs.
I found him sitting on the bottom step...
My grandad has had cancer for a while now, and the lump he has at the moment is his 4th. They operated and took as much as they possibly could from the 3rd which then followed chemotherapy and biotherapy from which he had a bad sin reaction on his face. Pretty much once the treatment had finished another lump appeared and unfortunatley they cannot operate more. He waited to see if it was an infection and the biopsy results confirmed last tuesday that it was indeed cancer again, and this time aggressive...
Hi to all.. i have just finished 5 weeks of pelvic radiotherapy, it was so hard at times, that i cried and cried and some nights couldnt sleep..the soreness was nothing what i expected, but you deal with this all from some inner strength that we dont know we have until we ned it..i consider my cancer a journey, and it has made me realise how precious life is, and how much i was taking things for granted..my life has changed so much in the last 18 months, and now there is hope that i can get back...
thats how long i have to go till i get down to the hospital to see trev.
cant come quick enough.
thankfully hes been able to find the energy to call me most days and he texts me still everyday but im sure everyone here knows how important it is to have touch and to feel the closeness of people you love.
Hes been on a chemo drip for the past 24 hours. it made him very ill last night and he got some sort of infection. he told me earlier he will be getting blood tonight. i guess that will be his...
Hubby, this morn, as he arose from his bed
announced he would bake some Gingerbread!
He weighed plain flour, sieved to perfection,
while pushing dirty dishes in my direction!!
At this point I have to say
never before has he cooked ****until this day****
So first attempt was not ...well great
and out of ten he cremated eight!
One poor man lost his head
and the other one, his limbs were shed
as he tumbled off the spatula
across the floor...they skidded far.....
I ran for the torch to shine a l...
in Copenhagen?
If you put 3 kids in a room with one television and one remote control, tell them to sort out themselves what to watch, would you expect peace and harmony to break out?
So however could it be possible to put over 150 nations in one room, (each bringing their own remote control) and expect them to come to an agreement?
More on this later, but I will try not to bore you.
Bren
Hello everyone....not blogged for a while. Well i had my final cycle of chemo yesterday and i have a CT scan on christmas eve...the finishing line is firmly in my sights now...im hoping to put it all behind me and go back to work in the new year. Ive missed my job and my workmates so much and it will be nice to be back in a normal routine.
January is full of appointments...oncologist ..gynae...occupational health...then hopefully the go ahead to return to work mid february...i will have been off...
