My grandad has had cancer for a while now, and the lump he has at the moment is his 4th. They operated and took as much as they possibly could from the 3rd which then followed chemotherapy and biotherapy from which he had a bad sin reaction on his face. Pretty much once the treatment had finished another lump appeared and unfortunatley they cannot operate more. He waited to see if it was an infection and the biopsy results confirmed last tuesday that it was indeed cancer again, and this time aggressive. Chemo will not help so its down to us all around him to make him comfortable and happy for the next few months that he has been given.
He tells me he already knew before they told him it was terminal and there where no solutions, I guess after 3 cancerous tumours already and the treatment, he is tired and expected the worse.
I am currently to-ing and fro-ing from being ok to not being ok, but have figured that crying all day wont help, and wont solve the situation. I am going to be there as much as I can for the next few days and do whatever I can to help him in what he wants to do. He wants to get things sorted and prepare my gran for being alone and coping after, and seems to be more worried about her than he is about himself.
I love my grandad with all my heart, and would give anything for him to be happy and healthy, but I have also learnt that he has given up fighting this, and that he is tired, and that actually, he is now at some form of peace. He knows he doesnt have to keep fighting or try a different treatment or endure anything that may or may not work, and he has had a happy long life and seems to have accepted his journey, and to me this is admirable. I only hope I can be this strong and there for him for the next few months and focus on him.
This is made difficult by us living two hours away and havign 2 children and one on the way, but I vow to do what I can to help.
