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Hi everyone,
This is Lizzie's daughter, Debs, here.
Mum, or Lizzie as you all knew her, sadly passed away on 29th September 2011. I hope you don't mind me logging in to her account but I know what a fantastic support group you all were for her and I know it really helped her being able to talk to other people going through similar experiences - she drew a lot from being out to share her thoughts and feelings.
As you'll see from her last post, she was doing really well and we were positive...
I am feeling really scared now, and quite ill, probably because I've been told all this. Thoughts are racing, I'l have to give up work at some point, I'm just so sad, I don't want to leave Lara.
Tuesday 4th October 2011 - just got off the 'phone with the nurse from The Christie. She has convinced me that I am not about to drop down dead any minute. She's told me not to do anything rash like leaving work etc. but to carry on like I have been for the past 2 years and think positively...
29th September 2011 I went to Christie for my scan results of 14th Sept. I have had 3 months off from chemo.Lymph nodes are stable, no sign of primary anal cancer. However now have it in both lungs. (Was originally suspicious in the right lung.) Largest area is only 1 cm and the rest are millimetres. However, what concerns me is they appeared WHILST having chemo. and the same chemo. is all that is on offer. (Apart from maybe trials, I assume if it doesn't work?) The lungs cannot have rt or be operated...
Briefly -
diagnosed and treated for anal cancer summer of 2009
spread to para-aortic lymph nodes 2010, been having treatment since October 2010 until my last cycle which was 3rd June 2011. I was a bit behind because I kept getting deferred as my neutrophils were too low to be treated.
Anyway I had a scan 9th june and went for the results today (16th June 2011).
I told very few people that the chemo. would NOT get rid of the cancer, just hopefully reduce it. Well the 3 areas they have...
I'm not going to write about every day, but just to let you know that I've not been bad at all. Had to get up early to eat before I could have my chemo. tablets and anti-sickness tabs. Did the Friday washing loads today, went to supermarket and bought lots of snacky stuff because I have to eat little and often rather than big meals. We had Chinese as usual. I'm getting a bit of reflux and some 'burning' you know where, so drinking lots of water. I had a couple of weird twinges yesterday, 3 on my...
Here we go again, I'm going to log it all down so I can remember what's happened.
Appointment on Ward 3 at The Christie for 9am because I had my bloods done yesterday. Medicine wasn't here because Cisplatin is made up the same day as it only has a shelf-life of 24 hours. Went up to ward 5 to watch a 'new patient' DVD about having chemo. then came back down into a little room to get my canula done and anti-sickness medicine because it still said I had MRSA (from last year) on my notes....
I've blocked this so that any kids (including my daughter) can't see.
The results of my CT scan indicate that the cancer may have spread to some of my lymph nodes. I post on the Macmillan site and have found some information on them. I so want it to be the last bit in bold -
"When lymph nodes are involved by secondary cancer this means that cancer cells have spread through the lymphatic vessels, from a primary cancer in another organ, to the lymph glands. Usually this sort of spread...
All that pain, for such a long time, I can't believe I got through it. Yet, knowing it was cancer and finding it had gone was only a mere six months!!!
I'm not kidding myself I'm clear forever, I'll be having check-ups every three months for the next year, hopefully decreasing after that if they are clear for the next five years.
I'm not elated or over the moon, I feel quite down and tearful at times. I'm still here but feel I'm going nowhere.
Ah well, I'm on...
Well I went to The Christie hospital today for the first time since my treatment finished, (6 weeks yesterday).
I've been looked at and they couldn't feel the tumour/lump anymore and were pleased with the healing of the skin.
So now I have to wait another 6 weeks, which will be 3 months after the treatment, and then I will have another MRI scan. 2 weeks after that they will tell me what's what.
Hospital appointment tomorrow morning with Dr Soe. He's going to take a look and decide if the treatment has been successful or not.
We shall see......
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