I am feeling really scared now, and quite ill, probably because I've been told all this. Thoughts are racing, I'l have to give up work at some point, I'm just so sad, I don't want to leave Lara.
Tuesday 4th October 2011 - just got off the 'phone with the nurse from The Christie. She has convinced me that I am not about to drop down dead any minute. She's told me not to do anything rash like leaving work etc. but to carry on like I have been for the past 2 years and think positively. She's arranging a Macmillan nurse and trying to get some sort of benefits for me. Of course I had a hundred questions. The reason they aren't operating on the lungs is because (let's not forget), my lymph nodes are affected and will never be 'cured'. They may try different combinations of chemo next time, and aren't rushing into it straight away because I am 'well' at present (apart from long chesty cough - but quite few people have that at the mo, and it's not 'cos of the cancer).
I am starting to feel a lot more positive as of yesterday when she 'phoned just before I set off fo work. Also my friend did some Reiki on me today. Here's hoping and thanks for all your posts :)
