With the festive season often being a time of giving, we are sharing some guidance for how you can give support online, or in person at this time of year. Recently there have been discussions about different Christmas gift ideas for someone with cancer, and what to say in a greeting card. We thought we would share a few ideas from these discussions as a guide to help you show support to someone living with cancer this Christmas. Of course, these ideas can be used for other celebrations too.
Finding and giving support online
There will be lots of celebrations taking place over the next couple of weeks however the holidays are not always an easy time for a lot of people. This time of year can cause a range of emotions for those affected by cancer and Macmillan are here to support you. If you are looking for support during the holidays, our 'where can I get support over the festive season?' blog has some useful information.
Our Online Community is known to have kind and supportive members who support one another 24/7. The power of peer support grows every day on the Community and will be a source of comfort to those needing additional support over the festive season.
“My personal opinion is that Christmas is a funny one. We all love Christmas, even grumpy old me. I think when you have something like this going on, it makes the time of year seem a little surreal. The decorations start to appear, tv adverts start airing, shops go into Christmas mode… Yet you feel like you are in some sort of surreal bubble where you are separated from all this.”
Community member, 'The dreaded C word- Christmas' discussion thread, Carer’s only forum
If you are logged onto the Community over the holidays, why not reach out to a new member or look out for anyone needing a listening ear in the groups you are a member of? A friendly reply can really make all the difference.
"I wish I could be happy for this time of year, not even for myself but for those around me but I am just scared for it, and know I will forever associate it with things that have broken my heart. I know this month may be difficult for many on here, so please feel free to vent on this post if you need to, and please know if you want to speak I will reply when I can."
Community member, 'December' discussion thread, Cancer chat forum
Alongside sharing a virtual hug and showing your support, you can also let the Community team know of any post which concerns you. Should you want to report something to us, you can click the flag to moderator button which is under each post. You’re also welcome to email Community@macmillan.org.uk as there will be a member of the team here to help every day over the festive period.
Giving at Christmas
If you are supporting someone living with cancer and have similar questions to this member below, then this section of the blog may be useful to you. In our Community groups, members have been sharing Christmas gift ideas for someone with cancer and what to say in a greeting card.
"It’s a standing joke within my family about how much I love Christmas, I am a Christmas film personified. However, this year, all it brings me is sadness. How do you cope with it? What presents do you buy someone who is terminally ill? How do I make it a special day and not just emotionally break down the entire time?"
Community member, 'The dreaded C word- Christmas' discussion thread, Carers only forum
If you are wondering what to gift someone, you are already showing how much you care as the thought of wanting to give to others can mean so much, especially when there is added pressure this year of the cost of living rising. If the cost of living rises have affected you, there is support information on the Macmillan website.
You know your friends and family best, so anything you gift them will be appreciated. It’s important not to put pressure on yourself to find the perfect gift and instead, enjoy the quality time you may get to spend with a loved one.
Usually, people want to gift something useful or sentimental, depending on your relationship. You could give something handmade, or share a photograph that holds a special memory that means a lot to you both.
Being thoughtful and finding things that will be useful and provide comfort are a couple of common suggestions Community members have. Below are some other ideas which have been shared in our Community groups:
“I have opted to buy a star in her name, with the inscription, Shine Bright every night and I will look out for you”
Community member, Carer’s only forum
“Having just started chemotherapy I welcome more practical gifts and pampering treats. As I'm tired all the time, anything like prepared snacks, drinks sachets, bitesize treats are lovely and someone got me some lovely rich hand cream and an eye mask, which is a simple way to relax. My Auntie who has also been through this got me some practical things to take to my chemo sessions: a box of tissues, wipes, antibac gel, a battery operated handheld fan, and a face mist as it's so warm having to wear a face mask all day.”
Community member, Chemotherapy forum
“My hubby has incurable kidney cancer and every time the question of gifts comes up he also asks for PJs , as he loves music my sons decided to do all things music related.”
Community member, Cancer chat forum
“The only cream I used before treatment was a gift from a lovely neighbour, who is also a survivor, all natural creams for different things such as helping to relax and sleep and skin healing”
Community member, Breast cancer forum
“I found a website that made framed prints of maps and had a section entitled 'where we met' so I ordered one for our anniversary. It's not fancy but it's a solid reminder of the place we first encountered each other and of all the years and times both good and bad we've spent together ever since. It's a little something but it can mean a lot.”
Community member, Ask an Information and Support adviser section
If you want to ask for more suggestions, why not post in our Family and friends forum, or our Carer’s only forum? I’m sure others will be happy to share their suggestions with you.
Writing cards and sending messages
If you want to let someone know you are thinking of them during the festive period, you may want to send a Christmas card or a celebration e-card. There are lots of different ones to choose on the Macmillan website and e-cards can be emailed straight away if you want to avoid posting cards this year.
The e-cards often have a supportive message that may feel appropriate to send and there’s an option to write your own message inside should you wish to do so.
You may feel you don't know what to write in a card to someone with cancer or someone who has been bereaved. Knowing what to say can cause a lot of pressure as you don’t want to cause any upset or say the wrong thing. Our ‘Talking to someone who’s been diagnosed’ blog has some suggestions of what you could say to those living with cancer because talking about cancer isn’t always easy.
You may find the guidance in the blog and in the ‘Talking with someone who has cancer’ booklet helpful. They both include suggestions of how to (show your support) word the things you might want to say to family and friends.
If you have any other ideas for showing support, gifting, or sending thoughtful messages, please share them in the comment box below.
Related blogs:
Related Community groups:
