Hello everyone, I hope this message finds you well!
I just wanted to post a message on here to just send virtual hugs to all on here, I know all our situations are different but the same thing has brought us here : cancer.
December has been difficult for me since my uncle passed away from cancer (7 years ago on 13th december) but especially now my auntie is facing the same battle it is so difficult, I guess when my uncle was very unwell it was not easier, but just not the same because me and my auntie had eachother, we were facing the loss together and supporting eachother whenever we needed to and had done years prior to his passing. We grieved together, thinking about it now we have been theough so much together. But it just is almost physically hurting me watching my auntie go through this, and knowing what is going to happen. I am trying so very hard to keep it together in front of her and I am doing good, but when I'm on my own, especially driving to and from places I break down. It doesn't help that I'm finding myself just driving around to avoid being home alone when my partner is at work and I just feel so lost. I was feeling anxious to be alone again this evening, so I helped the hospice decorate one of the Christmas trees after I had been with my auntie, the staff are really wonderful - I don't think I could ever repay them for there compassion and amazing care they have given to her.
Anyways I found myself just staring at the tree, and I just felt sad, I felt so heavy. I wish I could be happy for this time of year, not even for myself but for those around me but I am just scared for it, and know I will forever associate it with things that have broken my heart.
I know this month may be difficult for many on here, so please feel free to vent on this post if you need to, and please know if you want to speak I will reply when I can.
Take care, Katie xx
It sounds like you're going through an incredibly hard time right now but thanks for taking the time to send virtual hugs to everyone in the group.
As you know, the online community is divided up into different support groups so I hope you don't mind me suggesting that you also join and post in the supporting someone with incurable cancer group which is a safe and supportive place to discuss your worries and emotions with others who may have a relative, like your aunt, currently in a hospice.
To join just click on the link I've created which will take you directly there. You can then join and start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
Sending a virtual (((hug))) right back
x
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
