The dreaded C word - Christmas

Hi AM123 it’s just too sad I know, my precious mum got diagnosed this week, lung cancer spread to brain, absolutely devastated us, I too need to know how to cope this Christmas, we know it’s the last one, feel sick to my stomach, totally lost x

I’m sorry to hear that. It’s definitely tough, people all around getting excited and asking if I’m “ready for Christmas”. I just want time to stop, not countdown a whole month. 

HI AM123

I hear you. My husband was diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumour in Sept 2020. The prognosis was grim from the start so as a family we did our first last Christmas that year. ....then our second last year and now we're facing our third.

There's no right or wrong answer with how you cope to be honest. I have kind of reached the conclusion Christmas is going to happen regardless so I try to plan well ahead and take it slowly, one step at a time. If I feel emotionally strong enough to shop for gifts, I do it. If I'm having a tough day then I don't. I spread the cost of the meal across several weeks...the frozen bird is already in the freezer.

Yes, there have been tears each time but we have all managed to pull together and have a nice family day. Be led by what your dad wants and feels up to.

As for presents, that's a tough one. We're lucky in that my husband likes Lego so childish as it sounds, he's getting Lego from Santa. There's still the usual alcohol, chocolates and obligatory Terry's chocolate orange. 

Easier said than done, but don't dwell on it potentially being the last. It's simply Christmas...

love n hugs

Wee Me xx

Thank you for your wise words, you’re right, I need to focus on it as Christmas and not ‘the last Christmas’. I can only pray that we get more time but a DS1500 has been submitted so it’s very unlikely. 

I can relate but I am dreading Christmas this year. I’m even finding difficulty in hearing the festive songs in the shops. I pray for a miracle to have our lives back as they were and promise to enjoy every minute. We to have had the DS1500. It’s been heartbreaking. I keep telling myself that it’s only one day that I need to paint on that smile. Take care everyone. Big hugs xxx

Hi AM123

I am so sorry to read about what’s happening to your father. My partner has only recently been diagnosed with a brain tumour am we have her operation this Friday ( 18/11 ).

My personal opinion is that Christmas is a funny one. We all love Christmas, even grumpy old me. I think when you have something like this going on, it makes the time of year seem a little surreal. The decorations start to appear, tv adverts start airing, shops go in to Christmas mode… Yet you feel like you are in some sort of surreal bubble where you are separated from all this.

We’ve already decided between us all, with the exception of my young children, we’re not really “doing” Christmas this year. All we want is to spend time together and maybe a nice dinner with immediate family.

Wee Mee is right, there is no right or wrong way to cope with how you are feeling, or how you tackle Christmas.

I wish you all well. Take care. 

BB

Hi AM123, I was looking for some answers on what to buy for my Mum, we have been told if she makes it to Christmas we will be lucky. I am guessing she will make it just passed that. No point in buying her, her favorite perfume, or a nice new bag, but what the hell do you buy her. I, like you live for Christmas, will she be to ill to deal with Christmas, but I am also a Grandparent and need to do this for them and for me. Its just horrible.

It is very tough. I don’t want to get nothing but anything I think of seems to imply life is going on as normal. 

I have opted to buy a star in her name, with inscription, Shine Bright every night and I will look out for you

Me too.

My husband has had recurrant bowel cancer. We were told in June it was back after having an operation to take it all away in January this year. I'm ok with Christmas he is usually the one who is `Mr Scrooge` but this year I can see it far enough. We just got the news at his last oncology appointment that he has had a spread to his pelvis and now is looking at a nephostromy or stent being fitted to try to help drain his kidneys as they are concerned that because cancer is in his pelvis his kidneys may become affected. His chemo was stopped because of this and because of fluid retention in his ankles and legs and has just finished a course of water tablets. I just keep visioning that he won't be here this time next year and at this time last year we were full of hope that the cancer was going to be taken away but never once thought it would come back. So cruel. 

Vicky