Here we go again!

Hello , I’m really sorry to read you’re back on the “what if “ trail . I hope your results come through quickly and that they’re not what you fear. Gentle hugs. You’re in a safe place to vent, cry, worry and just generally be held. Please let us know how Tuesday goes x

Hi Eismysunshine,

Sometimes the wait can be the hardest part. Try and do nice things for yourself until Tuesday.  

Hugs

xx

Thanks Katie,

appreciate the virtual hugs, have painted the living room... it seemed like a good idea at the time!

x

Thanks Fairycake ,

appreciate the support and hugs! Did a bit of crying over the weekend but also some therapeutic decorating! Will let you know what happens tomorrow.

x

Hi All,

Quick update from this morning's Consultant app - typically they hadn't uploaded the TVU results from last week (why was I not surprised), even though they promised they'd do it in time. Anyway, am booked in for hysteroscopy and biopsy and had the blood test for ovarian cancer this morning. 

The main take back from it was that regardless of whether it's benign or not, it will definitely result in at least another round of IUD treatment at a minimum. In itself that's not such a bad thing.

Does it sound like a there should be a but?

We had planned on having another child, if we could, and it just feels like a nail in the coffin of that little dream. I know there are loads of options but... well that's another long conversation and best saved for once we get all the results back. I guess I just needed to voice it because its something I've been worrying about for a while now and you know... I feel like I'm having to be so bloody positive out in the world about it that I don't get to voice the disappointment and worry.

*deep breath* anyway!

I hope you're all finding a little bit of sunshine in your day, not matter how dark it feels on the inside (I had tea in the garden this morning and watched the foxes on our garden highway, it always makes me smile). x

Hello Eismysunshine,

Sounds like you have a lot to think about in the coming weeks. I think you're wise to wait till you know the outcome this set of investigations, that way you'll have something firmer to base your discussions and decisions on. It can be very hard keeping up a positive front   especially if others are asking whether you're ever going to get around to having another child. I'm glad you feel this is a safe place to share your disappointment and worry. There are no easy answers and as a Mum of adult daughters  I can only send you gentle hugs and say that I hope one day you'll be able to feel some peace about all of this. Xx

Hi Fairycake ,

Thanks for the support and hugs. My LO is 5 and (biased obvs) is a total star. I'm so frickin lucky to have her. I'm counting my blessings this morning and they are more than you'd think at first glance. Wil return to my fruitless meditating (you can get an app for absolutely anything these days) and try to maintain some kind of balance. Waiting doesn't get any easier and my right ovary seems to want to let me know it's here a little too enthusiastically for my liking! 

Taking some time off work today to regroup and get the weepy feeling under control, hope you're having a good day.

x

Hi there!

Is it Ok to keep this thread going? It just makes it easier for me to keep track of where I am!

Hysteroscopy was done last week, the lovely team who did it were super helpful again. Was told that my ovary wasn't enlarged but I had a cyst that was pretty much the size of my ovary (!!) hence the confusion - on the upside it was a simple cyst and nothing really to worry about. Phew. Was also told that my lining looked the same as last time (i.e. popcorn) but "what did they know as my tests came back clear"! So left feeling pretty positive.

Had a call from the urgent appointment team this morning though as my gynae consultant has the test results back and requested a quick appointment - booked in for lunchtime Tuesday.

in my head I'm like, that's good we can get this sorted, but as per usual the worry is right behind it. So... i guess I just wanted to hang the worry out to dry in this post and try to leave it here so that I can get on with my day. Waiting truly sucks!

Hope you're all OK.  Hugs heading out to you just in case x

Hi there, it's absolutely ok to hang your worry out to dry here. We all understand how awful the waiting game can be sometimes and we all need a safe place to let off steam from time to time. I hope your gynae has answers and a plan when you see him/her on Tuesday. Hugs are always welcomed here. Gentle hugs coming back your way. Try to focus on something else now if you can and do something you enjoy with those you love. Praying for your peace of mind as you wait. Take care x

Good luck for Tuesday, 

Let us know how you get on, and keep in touch over the weekend if you need someone to talk to, plan some nice treats and distractions over the next few days to help pass the time 

lots of love

xxx