Dilator or Vibrator? That is the question!

Ha ha welcome to the world of the Dreaded Dilators! At least yours are white, mine are a horrible pink colour - remember the old NHS glasses kids used to have to wear!

I think anything made of silicone is much better, cos not so rigid. I was given a tube of Optilube to use with them, but it is very thick. I also use Sylk, which is a moisturiser and which is much runnier and tends to drip! I get both of the later on prescription from my GP. Any lube you use needs to be water based. I invested in a Rabbit vibrator from Lovehoney.co.uk, it arrived very discretely packaged and doesn’t appear on your card statements with that name! I must admit it was an education doing research on such things. I feel I have led a very sheltered life, the innocent venturing into the world of adult “play”! I didn’t know some  such things even existed!
My three brachy sessions finished back in November 2020. I didn’t get the dilators till the February after as I think they forgot to send them to me. When I asked how long I would have to use them I was told twice a week until I was signed off from treatment. At my last telephone consult I asked about them and the doc said once a week should be sufficient. So rather mixed info from my team. I would definitely say my vagina has “shrunk” after my treatment, so it is worth persevering with the wretched things. I tend to switch between the two methods depending on how I’m feeling and how much time I have.

Personally I think the dilators are the worst side effect of brachytherapy! So good luck.

Oh MarmiteFan59 I did laugh at your comment it'd be like using a kitchen utensil LOL I shall look at my spud masher in a different light now!! I too started with the NHS dilators using Optilube lubricant. I only ever achieved no.3 size and hated it, it felt absolutely weird. So I did a bit of research on Ebay and bought a rabbit vibrator. It's made out of silicone and is quite bendy. To be honest I'd never had so much fun at the ripe old age of 67 and - this is whispering- achieved the most intensive orgasm I'd ever had!

Sex used to be painful for me, I now assume due to the stenosed cervix, and latterly with hubby's hips, sex was a distant memory.

I have to admit, since the diagnosis of my extensive metastasis, I've not used anything to dilate which I know is wrong, I'm supposed to keep the vagina supple but the idea of inserting anything down there is an anathema to me. In fact I no longer have gynae check-ups (which is a pity because my consultant was gorgeous!) I only see my Oncologist. Writing that, I feel quite emotional now!  Snap out of it!

Sending buzzy hugs, Barb xx

Hi Jigsaw, thanks so much! It’s the Sylk lube that is kiwi fruit based! I will just have to try a little and see. I’m not bothered by the size of the dilators, I just want something that’s more like my shape and less rigid. I’ll be interested to see if anyone suggests any other types though I wonder if some may be too embarrassed to post, which would be a shame! 

Oh this did make me laugh!  I received my pack after my 3rd brachytherapy session and mine are the solid pink variety- I will try to do a picture soon, but my family are here for the weekend and it might be a step too far for my son in law!   My set are like Russian dolls - then slot into each other, but pair up and screw together to give a handle!  They certainly have given my friends a giggle

My nurse gave very similar advice about buying my own version, or the natural way - but did say I should use them 3 times a week and leave them in for about 10 minutes!! ……and use them for the restf my life!   She did say that many ladies prefer to use them in the bath, as they don’t need the lubricant then and it might be easier generally.   I was given optilube too - I only know of ky jelly as an alternative, but silk sounds interesting    I am still having cystitis type side effects, so I will not be trying them out anytime soon.  My nurse said that I should wait until any soreness had stopped and that it would not matter if I had not started using them until I had been checked at my next appt with the oncologist in early June.  

Mine also fit inside one another and fit together to form a handle. The nurse said 2-3 mins at a time, three times a week, for a year. Mine also said that I should start using them before my oncologist appointment on 1st July as it would make the internal examination easier.

Yes - I do think I should try them before my appointment.  Hopefully things should feel a bit less bruised in a week or two - I am beginning to wonder whether I have developed a UTI

Hi MarmiteFan59  I replied to you at 1.25pm and tagged you

Bxx

Having gingerly done some research, feeling a bit reluctant to even visit websites, I worked out my criteria. I wanted a rechargeable one not battery operated. Wanted a pastel colour not a bright colour or black. Something shaped not straight, and with a softer texture than the dilators. Something quiet or that could be used without being switched on and something not too extreme, if that makes sense. And something that looked like what would more naturally go in there, lol, not like an implement with bits sticking out like the “rabbit” one because to me that looked like a gardening implement!  I’m not looking to “replace” my husband, not even really looking for lots of stimulation or excitement, just wanting something that would feel nicer than the rigid plastic. I don’t have any problems with inserting the NHS dilators - I’ve had a go as I’m not sore after brachy 1. But it just felt clinical and alien. 

So I made a decision, chose one that seemed to meet the above and ordered it. It’s from a company that doesn’t just sell this sort of thing and that I’ve used before for health/beauty products. It arrived in a plain brown box (like Amazon), just my address on the outside, and no delivery note. So it was discreet. I tried it gently last night - first with the dilators and then with my new purchase, and it was like night and day. Like the difference between sitting on a hard wooden chair and one with a comfy cushion. It didn’t feel unnatural, it actually felt comfortable and I could move it around to gently stretch myself either switched  off or switched on. I’m going to take it to show my brachy nurse next week when I have session 2 just to make sure, but I know I’d have no hesitation using this twice a week as required. I also bought some water based lube from the same company and was pleased with that too as just a drop did the trick and it didn’t cause me any irritation. 

Oh MarmiteFan. you are an absolute tonic. I'm sat here with tears running down my face reading this. Every day is a school day, we learn so much from you.

But on a serious note thank you so much for being so open and sharing really helpful tips and advice as always. It's certainly something to look into when I start my Brachy in August after my Chemo has finished.

Hugs Robin x

Marmitefan, all I’m  going to say is that “gardening tools” can be a lot of fun! Gives one a renewed interest in horticulture!