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FormerMember over 3 years ago

2 replies
12 subscribers
930 views

I haven't been on here for such a long time and thought I should maybe reach out and talk about my husband.

As some of you know my husband found a lump a few years ago refused to see a doctor and waited 5 years before getting it checked out. By the time he did it had spread. I was told even with chemo it would give him time. Due to lockdown and my husband refusing help made things very difficult. I had to care for my husband 24/7. It waa only in the last 3 weeks of his life that we were able to get any help.

Sadly he passed away in July. Sometimes I feel angry about the lack of help and support. No one seemed to listen when I asked for help. Now months later after my husband has passed away everyone is suddenly trying to offer me help and suppprt.

Sorry for ranting

jimjimjim2020 over 3 years ago

Condolences to you and your family. I'm sure the last few months have been very tough since his passing and the months acting as his carer 24/7 were extremely tough!

I was diagnosed with testicular cancer in June 2020. I noticed a lump a few weeks before I got it checked. I have been in your husbands position and tried to put off the going to the GP's as long as possible. Unfortunately most men seem to have a different mindset when it comes to health related matters! It is an absolutely terrifying experience from original diagnosis to operation to bi-annual outpatients appointments.

I was cautious who I told about diagnosis and only informed people who I felt would be beneficial and supportive. At the time part of the reason is I did not want people to view me as being sick. Before this I don't think I was medically unwell a day my life! This worked for me and my situation!

It's good that you have people around you for support. Some of these will probably only be around temperarily and will go back to their own lives. People have their own issues and struggles that they are trying to get through. Try and identify those who will be more long term support systems.

Remember to look after yourself and family. You have had a tough few months. You should be commended for the love and support you gave to your husband in the final few months of his life.

I find solace in online support groups such as Macmillan- it reassures me that I am not going through this alone and there are others in similar situations as myself.

FormerMember over 3 years ago

Sorry to hear your news, I'm new to this online forum stuff. I too had left it nearly a year before informing the doctor. Two years before I had ultra sound which concluded I had vericose veins. There was no pain with mine only felt like a lump of lead, heavy and hard. I've had the removal and awaiting a dose of chemo. I do now ask my male friends to report any changes to their GPS. Im a typical male 57 yrs old who thought he was invisible and worked 24/7.

My thoughts are with you and your family God bless x

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