Prognosis

FormerMember over 3 years ago

4 replies
108 subscribers
1042 views

Hi,I am new to this site but I wasnt sure where else to go for advice. Please, all advice is welcome. We dont have information such as scores etc. Just the basic was stated below and dome personal observations

My father in law has been diagnosed with prostate cancer 14 months ago , at that time he was given a prognosis of 18 months.

Recentky my FIL came to stay with us. While staying here I realised the limitations the cancer had placed on him. We knew he had difficulty walking and urinating ( my husband has had to bring him to hospital in pain 6 -7 times in the last 6 months for a procedure to drain his bladder ), and he wakes every hour to empty his catheter, with some pain / discomfort felt prior each time.

He has almost lost complete power in one of his legs and his hands , he has mentioned pins and needles in his fingers several times. On research this seems to come from spinal compression which I think means the cancer has spread to his spine . Again, any advice welcome.

I'm not entirely sure and if you ask him or my MIL anything ,all you get is everything's grand.they have always been difficult to talk to and prefer conversations about the weather,gardening or tv programmes.

The only treatment options available to him was hormone treatment. Cancer was at stage 4 when diagnosed and he is 78 years old with signs of emphysema also.

We think the world of him and would love to be able to find out more, we have engaged the help of community nurse and physio therapist etc.after much persuasion (they didnt need it, they were grand )

But we do not know what the current prognosis is,if the stage hes at has adjusted the initial prognosis or how we go about finding out. Very concerned. My SIL is in Australia and in some denial, again they tell her everything is grand so she thinks we are exaggerating, we are not, she hasnt seen him in a year so is completely unaware of the changes, we would like to be able to convince her to get home before end stage occurs.

Thank you in advance.

Heinous over 3 years ago

If he is staying with you and you are involved in his care, then it's only reasonable for you to be told what's going on, and if no-one volunteers the info, then you should be asking. Ask whoever is involved in his care; if they don't know, ask them who does.

On the specific issue of spinal compression, if that is the issue, then please be sure that his doctors are aware of his symptoms. It can be treated but the treatment is only successful if it is caught in time; cord compression is one of a very few 'radiotherapy emergencies'. Every day counts.

- - -

Heinous

If I can't beat this, I'm going for the draw.

Meanwhile, my priority is to live while I have the option.

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to Heinous

Thank you for coming back to me. He only came to stay with us for 8 days while his wife was in hospital. I tried asking him about what his doctors said re; pins and needles in his hands , FIL said it's down to arthritis. But I'm not sure this is the reality.

They are very private people and also the type to bury their heads and not acknowledge the reality of situations, it seems cruel to force it on them. and they would brush past difficult questions or conversations anyway, they have years of practice at doing this successfully.

I suppose I am just wondering what the prognosis is at this stage as we do want to understand how we can help them discreetly and prepare ourselves to do this.

Thanks again

Heinous over 3 years ago in reply to FormerMember

A difficult situation; and no way to know. Even if they were entirely forthcoming with information, an estimate would almost certainly be wrong. And without having all the information on diagnosis and treatment, an estimate would be pointless.

It's really one day at a time.

- - -

Heinous

If I can't beat this, I'm going for the draw.

Meanwhile, my priority is to live while I have the option.

freefaller over 3 years ago

Your husband should be able to speak with either his Dad's gp or consultant. Explain that you are being told nothing and that he has a sister in Australiam and you wish to be able tot ell her the facts about her Father's situation so that you can make the decision as to whether she should try and visit.

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