1,After finding lump and then a mammogram I was diagnosed with a grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma with an element of DCIS. It is ER 8, PR 8 and HER2 positive.
2, Had a lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy beginning of Nov. That was very scary and stressful but got through okay.
3, My results of the lumpectomy and lymph node wee not good, no clear margins and the tumour was 5cm where they originally thought it was 1.5cm. Also 3 out of the lymph nodes we’re involved.
4, Sent for an urgent ct scan and a meeting with oncologist. He said that there were unclear things on the scan which still need to be checked. So now I’m on my journey starting with chemo on the 14th December 6 courses of that also with Trastuzumab that will last for 12 months. Got to have a bone scan as there is something showing on my spine.
So this is where I’m at, got a lovely supportive husband and 2 great daughters and a beautiful baby granddaughter. They are great but I do find myself putting on a brave positive face for them but underneath I’m having a meltdown. My best friend died of a different cancer 2 years ago, I was with her every step of her journey so seen a lot of s__t which really scares me. Not got anyone else close that I can tell how I really feel as I don’t want to burden anyone. This forum will have to be my escape, anyone out there in the same sort of position.
It's ok for you to tell us how you feel as many times as you want because like you with your friend, we do understand how difficult and worrying this is. Obviously it would have been simpler for you if the original diagnosis had been right but the good thing is that the MDT now know what they are treating and you will have read that most BC is treated sucessfully these days. Whilst I know you are afraid of the shadow on the spine, there is still a possibility it is something like arthritis which would also show up on a CT scan. I had a lot of problems with my spine after chemo which resulted in an operation for decompression but it was never cancer. I am hoping this is the situation for you too.
I am pleased you feel supported by your family. I did too and really needed them during chemo. In the end it became obvious to them that positivity can't be 100% of the time and we were able to discuss things more realistically. I was very fortunate as the treatment does seem to have worked for me. I hope yours does the same. Keep in touch. The Awake thread is a good chatline to take your mind off things but also the posters there have so much experience that if you have questions or further worries, someone will probably have shared your experience.
Take care this week. Once treatment starts on the 14th, you will begin to feel more in control again.
Love Karen
