Newly diagnosed...very scared of whats to come

Firstly, I can't give you a full answer as I'm just about to go to hospital for some treatment but just wanted to say hi and breathe, you are at the worst point of this journey and it is scary and you will feel overwhelmed but it will become easier and you will get through this.   I'm nearly out the other side, I had surgery, then chemo and radiotherapy and finally on Herceptin injections until Nov but it was all doable.

Finding this forum is the best thing you could do and they'll be lots of people along shortly to help you through.  Don't be tempted to Google, it really doesn't help as it is often out of date and we are all different so no one rule will fit all.

I'll look back in here later today but now I have to dash and I know you'll have plenty of support by then I just didn't want to read your post and not say something.

Take care

XOXO

And breathe!  Most important breast cancer is very treatable and you will get through this.

Practicalities:

Money- ring Mac Millan helpline.  Do you have life insurance, if do does it have critical illness cover.  Do you have mortgage protection.  If so it will cover payments if off sick .  I know of people who did work, usually flexibly or reduced hours during treatment.  Talk to your employer.
 Do you have a house full of unwanted items, sell on EBay.  The blouse you bought but never wear someone might give you £5 for and they cover postage.    You can also sell on DEPOP.  My daughter doing this to pay towards her wedding .  Macmillan should also give you advice about your debts.  If you or hubby part of any organisation/union they should also help.  My friend is getting help from Masonic charity as her husband who is a mason left her and she didn't have enough money to pay household bills.  

Travel to hospital.  Explain your travel issues and not only time but financial cost to see if you can go closer to home .

i didn't have chemo so no idea which option is best .  

This isn't an easy time but it is doable xxx

Hi and another warm welcome to this club, sorry you’ve had to find yourself here. Can’t answer re chemo first or not but am sure someone will pop in, I’m going to tag because he usually seems to know who had what! Like you my cancer was ductal but I didn’t have chemo as it was very strongly oestrogen receptive but negative for HER2. So had op, radiotherapy and now on long term hormone treatment. 

Re your dog, lots of people here have dogs and had chemo so I don’t know where that idea came from! I’ll tag Northerner as she ‘s one of them I’m sure! 

Re debts, my brother was a debt counsellor and always advised - contact loan provider and tell them you’re struggling, and tell them why,  to make some interim arrangement. But I’m sure Macmillan can advise. 

Keep posting and asking questions, or just to rant and rave, this is where you can say exactly how you feel and people actually understand. Sending love and hugs, HFxx

Hi Womblet 

Sorry to hear of your diagnosis. It certainly takes some time to process this terrifying path. The more information you gather the stronger you become , however can I say do not google. I relied upon the experience of others from this forum and from macmillian and breast cancer now website. 

I had my operations first and then I start chemotherapy this friday. I was guided by the professionals and the advice from my bc nurse. I dont believe theres a right or wrong with this. We are all on the same path but our circumstances are different. 

As for the money situation , contact the cab they have a macmillian specialist who will source what benefits you could apply for. In my case they have completed this on my behalf. They can provide a grant to assist you.  You can also contact the debt provider and explain your situation , hopefully they will be compassionate and give you a payment option to fit your circumstances. I haven't got critical illness cover on my life insurance but its definitely worth checking out if you have a life policy. 

The important thing right now is your health. 

I've found this forum a massive help to me processing my diagnosis . When you need advice someone is always at hand to help, or even if,  like myself in the early days I wouldn't comment I'd just read everyones threads to gain confidence and experience.

Take one day at a time. 

Take care 

Julie x 

Hi

And Breathe..........

My story on profile just click on my name to read

Welcome to th club nobody wants to join but are so pleased to be a member of once here.

This is the best place to scream ,rant ,cry and laugh ..yes you will laugh again and quite soon ..promise.

We have all been where you are now and felt the same shock and fear. 

I had op first ,HER pos not diagnosed til after so then chemo . Now on Herceptin til next Jan .

All doable . I can't make judgement on which way round to do things that is up to you and your team . I know there is success stories of shrinking lumps on here so others will come forward .

The decision I had to make was lumpectomy or masectomy at my age I wasn't interested in keeping boob and wanted rid so second biopsy to confirm size of area . Then easy decision 

just remember we are all different so discuss with your team what is best for you .

With regards chemo for most people imagination can be worse than reality . Certainly not pleasant but you are unlikely to get all Side effects ( Greedy ) would say I coped ok and found it manageable.

I finished 10 weeks ago hair on way back and dealing with day to day life .

Stay away from dr google he so out of date .

Anyway down to important things ..doggie !

I found it's true dogs understand my very bouncy cockerpoo stopped jumping at me the day I came back from op ! 

Of course you don't have to get rid of dog ,I was given rules to follow .

Hubby took over most of grooming but if I was grooming then disposable gloves were the order of the day . 

Also absolutely stay away from dog poo . This did mean I didn't walk dog on my own always had someone with me to pick up

If I hadn't been able to do that then I would have used gloves as well as bag. Then sanitise .  

All sounds very heavy but not really just a safeguard against infection .

 I was lucky never got one infection  from human or dog lol

The waiting is worse once you get your treatment plan sorted it will get better . Make sure someone with you to take notes for you  also take your list of questions . 

If you feel you need to talk ask on here or ring your BCN 

take care 

margaret x

Hi ,

You’ve had some great help already, but yes; breathe! This is the very worst stage, the ‘waiting and what ifs’!

I too would urge you to phone the helpline where they have excellent financial advice (I’ve done that for daughter in the past and it was great!) 0808 808 0000.

Once you know the plan of action (chemo or op first) then things should hopefully fall into place. I was lucky and escaped the chemo/radio bullet, just had a mastectomy; but that was due to previous surgeries and site of tumour. 

Sending you hugs xxx

Hi Womblet and everyone else too.

I've also been recently diagnosed and still can't get my head round it. It's DIC and all I think about is that it is"aggressive grade 3 " that keeps on going round and round in my head and I feel that I get hit my a brick each time. I feel like my life has been snatched away, job, impact on kids, my lifestyle, impact on everyone else around me an dlike you the financial side.

Honestly reading what the replies have been to your post to not Google helps but I'm just scared. I am soo scared right now too. I guess we have to fight and be strong. Like you I'm not sure if it will be chemo first then the lumpectomy. Take one day at a time, I find that is helping me.

If there is anyone out there that can just give me some support/advice/love... I am looking into recurrence on BC and its making me panic, I feel that even though I can get through this is this fight ever going to be over? Do is girls ever get our life back.

I'm sorry Womblet hope I didn't hijacvknyoyr post with my question. But you are not alone in this and neither am I. Much love. X

Thank you so much to those of you that have read and those who have replied to my post, your all wonderful and have helped put things in to prospective.

So I took a deep breath, put my big girl pants on and went to work today...not only has it taken my mind off it (a bit!) But my boss has been very supportive. I'm still waiting to  hear what they can do for me but we discussed working from home on the days I can't get in and what they can do for me regarding pay...fingers crossed they can help me out.

I'm telling my team tommrow in our team meeting to stop any gossip but also I know how supportive everyone will be...they are a good bunch!

Also I have heard from my team nurse this morning that it's Her2 positive so I can have this extra drug (forgotten the name) which is meant to stop it from growing along with the chemo.

So they have decided to do chemo first then the op...im just glad someone has made a decision.

Also I should hear within the next 3 weeks a date to see my doctor at Christies but in the mean time I should also get appointments to have a marker put in my breast, a CT scan and an Echo which has made me more positive, knowing there are things going on in the background.

They said that the chemo normally starts about a week after seeing the doctor, so hopefully buy the beg of April I should start the treatment to get rid of "it"

So I feel that things are  moving along, where as yesterday it all felt so rushed and up in the air.

Thanks for the good news about the dog...i couldn't bring myself to get rid of him and will probably be the main reason for getting up on the feeling crappy mornings.

I'm going to call the finance helpline for advice. Unfortunately I don't have any insurance...im a typical it won't happen to me kind of person so I only have myself to blame for that side of this situation but I'm sure it will all get sorted and now I have 3 weeks'ish to sort things out I feel a bit happier.

Also I broke the news to my dad yesterday which I've been dreading and I think that stressed me out quite a bit.

Sorry for dumping my feelings this morning and thank you again for your support and if there is anything I can help with please contact me xxx

Hi Jostar

I was also told it was agressive grade 3 but they told me it's only because it's fast growing. They don't use stages anymore which was my biggest worry that she was going to tell me it was stage 4 and untreatable.

However I was told apparently grade 3 is very treatable and I have a high chance of the cancer shrinking so much that they will only have to do a small lumpectomy...fingers crossed it's the same for you.

I'm really scared of the chemo (thanks Dr Google!) But even from TV and films...i know I shouldn't base facts on fiction! So I'm glad there have been some supportive messages from people who have actually been through it...im still worried but I will just have to cope and deal with it. Sometimes it's just the unknown that's the scary bit.

As for you asking if you ever get your life back...from my experience of talking today to 2 colleagues...yes! Obviously everyone is different but they have both been clear for over 5 years. It was hard for them, not going to lie and until you get the final all clear they said they lived in fear but there is light at the end and their inspiring stories have given me a boost today.

Good luck with your treatment and let me know how your getting on xx

Hi ya,

I went through a Operation, Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy......I am a single parent of a minor, I have a full time job and a 9 year old dog.

I only had two weeks off work after op....i worked through everything else.....so working is possible!

(And i work in retail.... so i was face to face with people and germs everyday!)

And my dog......nothing like walking the dog to help clear the mind......NO WAY do you need to get rid of the dog!.....think my child had more germs than the dog.

Sorry for butting in.....just wanted to assure you that carrying on as normal as possible can be possible.

Good luck with everything xx