Hi , my mum has gone through treatment for breast ca, rang the bell two weeks ago to be told it has now spread to bones, I don't know what to do or say or expect, this was shown on an x-ray for pain in her shoulder now awaiting scans which can take up to 3 weeks .
Has or is anyone going through the same ? I just don't know what to do x
Hi sorry to hear you have received this news about your mum! It’s certainly not the news you wanted to hear so soon after her finishing treatment!
Obviously without knowing what type of Cancer your mum had I can only say How it has been, as someone with ER+ and HER- Breast Cancer.
My Secondaries to the bone were diagnosed at the end of 2015 and i’m Still here! I am currently on treatment to shut down my ovaries and have been offered Letrozole a hormone drug and Denosumab a Bone strengthening drug, both of which I have decided not to start, until I feel I need too...which is IF/When things start to progress!
Your mum could live a very very long time with Secondaries to the bone! So please don’t think that you are going to lose her anytime soon, because that is unlikely to be the case! Of course if they find it’s in her lungs or liver things become more complicated and depending on the type of cancer and her general health and age etc!
BUT people can ‘live’ with Secondary Breast Cancer for years! She’s going to be living with continual treatment, which can have some rubbish side effects! She might have pane issues, which can be helped by pain meds, but of course that can have side effects!
However by far the biggest strain on her will probably be the psychological side effects! Knowing you have this thing inside you that you have no control over is really hard at times! It certainly takes a little getting used too. So give your mum time and space to get her head around things. She might be feeling angry and frustrated that she’s been through all the treatment and is now questioning why it didn’t work? What did she do wrong? Has she let you all down? Etc etc! She may be able to deal with all this alone or she may need some counselling! We are all different!
The best thing you can do for your mum, is be there to listen when she needs you! But remember she’s very likely to want to protect you as much as she can! So be prepared to hear the words we all mutter so easily “I’m Fine”! Sometimes she probably will be ‘fine’, other days she will be feeling p***ed off with the world! But either way she’ll get through the day!
I don’t want to bombard you with anymore information. I hope this has helped a little. If you want to ask anything else, please feel free! Or if you would like to send a private message, that’s fine too! I wish there was something I could say that would take away the pain you are feeling! But the best I can offer is, don’t think the worse! Your mum will hopefully have a long line of treatment options available to her! So fingers crossed it’s only in the bone!!
Take things one step at a time! Make sure you look after yourself as well as your mum! Sending you both a......
IF your mum would like to message me and ask anything, please feel free! Take Care. Sal xxxx
