Depression

Evening Steve. Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down at the moment. Having a recurrence is not great news, but the positive thing is we are monitored regularly and these things can be dealt with. We can deal with the physical things, but the emotional side takes a bit longer. The way you are feeling is common. In my early days, I had some dark thoughts and the people on here got me through it. One thing I always regret. I was referred to a local cancer charity for counselling. Counselling was not for me, but I was offered practical courses on silversmithing, woodworking and other crafts. At the time, I did not see the point. Now, I am really sorry I did not do anything like this. Many people here recommend Maggie's Centres. I have not experienced them myself, but I believe they are great places to go in and have a chat, if there is one near you. Many of us have followed your posts and the "Tufnail" suggests you are feeling a bit down rather than depression, but if you feel it is more than that, then a visit to your GP may help. There is always someone here to listen. Best wishes.

My problem is the trigger to my Mum dying when I was 14. My own episode brings so many bad memories back. 

Hi Steve sorry to hear how feeling right now it must have been very hard losing your mother at 14 years old. the one tip I have is visit your local Macmillan drop in centre near you the staff helped me a lot when I 1st started on this BC journey. I still drop inmost weeks to say hi, it's almost 2 years now for me I still get help support and useful information from the great staff  in Withybush hospital Macmillan centre Haverfordwest W Wales. All the best harry

Hello Steve

I am two years down the BC road and had a recent recurrence which resulted in a superficial tumour being removed. I am going for my annual CT scan this morning.It is funny Christmas is a joyous occasion yet it can be sad when we think of our deceased parents. However, I always look forward rather than keep looking through the rear view mirror. I still get dark moments but I have the love of my wife, children and four grandchildren who never give me the time to reflect for very long. There are wonderful people on this BC community who with their wisdom, knowledge and experiences have helped me through some difficult times. I hope you soon feel a bit more positive and can get through this difficult period.

Garviv

Hi Steve, recurrences knock us all flat, and you have every reason to struggle with the bladder cancer experience. I'm so sorry you lost your mother so young. I guess the main thing to hang on to might be that treatments have progressed a long way in our lifetimes and I think there will be treatment options now which were not available to your mum. Sending love. 

Will be thinking of you today Garviv with fingers and toes crossed. x

Hi Steve,

My mum also died of bladder cancer and I remember how I felt when I was first diagnosed, although the consultant was quick to reassure me that mine was nothing like my mum’s.

My depression / anxiety started when my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer six months after I was diagnosed. I found it very difficult to cope with this and with my first reoccurrence which happened at the same time. In fact I would go as far to say that I found this the worst thing I have experienced, even more that coping with cancer.

I was lucky to be able to access counselling pretty quickly and also self referred myself for some therapy. As a last resort I went on a low dose of anti depressants.

What helped me the most was going to Maggie’s and being able to talk to people who were feeling the same.If you have one near you they are wonderful places and have counsellors and various courses to help. As Harry has also said there are Macmillan centres who can help as well. 
Get help now before it gets any worse and don’t forget this forum, which is great, is always here to listen.

Bset wishes Luce x

Hi
So sorry to hear you are feeling low. It's not surprising with all you are going through.
In the past I have found therapy / counselling routes very helpful. I'm hoping to find somebody to help with my current states of mind.
Having a skilled, caring person able to 'hold' your experiences without being overly affected is so helpful in my experience. One of the things it does is make it easier to witness one's experiences and so understand them better. This allows them to move on to more peaceful states. Losing your Mum at 14 must have been traumatic, that young lad must have been devastated, giving his grief a voice now could allow for a more adult grief to take its place where you feel more potent and less overwhelmed.

Maybe it's not for you, but maybe try it, all you have to lose is the bit of time it takes.
Good luck and wishing you much peace.
♥

Yeah me too Steve, highs & lows is how it goes.  Sorry I didn't mean to rhyme.  Once I'd got over the initial shock of breast cancer I sort of settled down a bit, & enjoyed the highs.  After I'd finished treatment I thought I'd be walking on air, God was I in for a shock as I'd never felt so low & alone.  Then I got bladder cancer & I was beside myself thinking the worst.  If it hadn't been for these people on here I do not know how I would've coped at all.  I've had a fair few recurrence, & I sort of settled in to it, but I have my phases of thinking that I've had enough of it.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dear Mom at such a young age.  I feel much worse about cancer since I lost my Mom early this year, I used to call her as soon as I had the op …  I've had a fair bit of counselling, it helped me to get things off my chest.  I enjoy walking, that helps take the mind off stuff.  If you can try & promise yourself little treats, then you have something to look forward to & it lifts you.  We're all here for you anyway mate xxx