Well here i am again at 4.30 in the morning and i can't sleep yet again!! My husband Darryl has terminal small cell cancer and, at the moment is going through a really good phase. Which, i would have thought, would set my mind at rest and enable me to sleep. But no, here i am again having had 2 hrs sleep tonight wide awake with mad thoughts running around my head!! This is driving me crazy and i just seem to be on auto pilot all the time. Darryl is 44 years old and we have been given a prognosis of a 2-3 year life span for him. I can't seem to let go of this thought, and maybe part of me can't sleep because of that, as i feel if i'm asleep i'm wasteing precious time!! Darryl is sound asleep and resting well, and if i stay upstairs next to him listening to his breathing, i keep thinking is this the last time i'll ever hear that and end up getting so uptight and worried that i find it better to just get up again. So i wander round the house do a few chores, have a hot caffiene free drink and will myself to sleep all to no avail i might add!! hahaha surely i'm not the only carer who never sleeps, or am i????? any comments gratefully recieved. Take care my friends and hope your all sleeping well. love and hugs mel xxx
Night night ladies im a little bit squiffy and away to my bed, serves me right for drinking your share, hey mel suppose im off to the garage in the morning for resolve ,Sweet dreams xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hi Kate well you sleep well and will speak soon. Hope the garage has sold out of resolve so you have to suffer all day!! haha self inflicted and being greedy think you upset Karen too! haha (just joking) speak soon you little alkie! love and hugs mel xx
hi mel so pleased darryl doing ok. iv'e had bad week with mothers day coming up, everywhere you look its all cards and other things, i dont mean to sound selfish and horrible, its just hard these special days especially. anyway mate, i'm off to try and get some sleep speak soon love and hugs (and no wine lol) karen xxx
hi Karen, see some people just can't hold their drink can they? ahaha can't hack the night time either like us night owls! Bless Kate she's lovely and is an excellent carer to her mum. Mind you maybe we should take a leaf out of her book and have a few drinks! haha mind think we only got bacardi in and nothing to go with it and if i drink it neat probably never wake up again! or at the least be very sick, then be no use to darryl. love and hugs mel xx
hi Karen, sorry bout that you posted me as i was replying to you. I wish i could be with you to give you a hug but i'm sending you one instead (((((((((((((((hug)))))))))). Hope that helps you to sleep. I understand mothers day is hard for some people without there mum but my thoughts are with you and i hope you message me anytime. sleep well babe i'm here for you always love and hugs mel xx
